An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38!”
(Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.”
“Scripture?” replied the burglar. “She said she had an ax and two 38’s!”
I’m glad y’all enjoyed the joke. My brother sent it to me.
I sent it to a couple of pastors that I know. One of them started kidding me that I had an ax and two 38’s. Imagine that!
Carmy I liked your joke too. I sent it to my pastor who said he appreciated the laugh today. LuvH8, not sure I want to sit next to you in church. I like lightning, but not that close. ;)
Ldyhwkd ~ I have never been struck by lightening. Once in a while it strikes someone who is close by me. I am sure that has absolutely nothing to do with me.
I thought someone was going to bring up the song about the Mississippi squirrel that got loose in a, I think, Baptist church. I know the guy who sings it but the name slips my mind.
I agree. I followed one of Joe’s links to the “Squirrel” video several months ago. There’s also one about going to a couples retreat and ending up in a snake handling church service that’s pretty funny too.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
And the new week begins. I’ve got my seat saved!
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
I’ll sit next to you Lonewolf. Then we can get into trouble together. Did you happen to bring any frogs? Frogs would be fun!
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
That must have been a bloody service! I wonder what the rate of survival was?
carmy over 14 years ago
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38!” (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.” “Scripture?” replied the burglar. “She said she had an ax and two 38’s!”
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
It was a good joke, Joe. :^)
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
No frogs, LuvH8.
Just squirrels!
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Carmy ~ I liked the joke! It was funny.
Lonewolf Squirrels?
Squirrels Are Rodents!!!lewisbower over 14 years ago
Far be it from me to start a rumor but—What are LONEWOLF and LUVH8 doing in the back pew?
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Discussing rodents and reptiles Lew.
Me too Carmy thanks for that one.
One of your
Squirrels !Got loose Wolfie
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Lewreader You can sit with us if you want to.
freeholder1 over 14 years ago
Act-ually, it was called “the Acts of the Holy Spirit” at one time, a much more act-urate description in a time before humanism perverted the church.
carmy over 14 years ago
I’m glad y’all enjoyed the joke. My brother sent it to me. I sent it to a couple of pastors that I know. One of them started kidding me that I had an ax and two 38’s. Imagine that!
freeholder1 over 14 years ago
I clearly recall a plague of frogs, but not one of squirrels. They hang bird feeders in the church? ;-)
ldyhwkd over 14 years ago
Carmy I liked your joke too. I sent it to my pastor who said he appreciated the laugh today. LuvH8, not sure I want to sit next to you in church. I like lightning, but not that close. ;)
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Ldyhwkd ~ I have never been struck by lightening. Once in a while it strikes someone who is close by me. I am sure that has absolutely nothing to do with me.
ldyhwkd over 14 years ago
LOL! I think I’d rather not take that chance. I’ll join you in the BigTop, just not in church.
freeholder1 over 14 years ago
Luv8:You wondered what the rate of survival was. We only know the rate of revival was thousands. ;-)
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Freeholder 1
: ) Last night I dreamed I had a little tiny frog and no place to keep it safe, the worry did plague me. (I really did!)
: ) I am glad to know they were able to revive so many!
kab2rb over 14 years ago
I thought someone was going to bring up the song about the Mississippi squirrel that got loose in a, I think, Baptist church. I know the guy who sings it but the name slips my mind.
dead.theologians.society over 14 years ago
Ray Stevens Song
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Some of my favorites, too! I have 2 of his albums on CD.
ottod Premium Member over 14 years ago
I agree. I followed one of Joe’s links to the “Squirrel” video several months ago. There’s also one about going to a couples retreat and ending up in a snake handling church service that’s pretty funny too.