FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for May 29, 2021

wheeeee

I was the other type of skater. The one who takes one step and runs into a wall.

Who needs roller coasters when you have roller skates.

WHO WANTS TO BRING BACK ROLLER BLADES?

I bought roller blades but never used them because I was past 30 and worried about killing myself.

Wore these roller blades once. One little slip and I never did it again. Barely left the door I was hangin on.

One summer evening July of 1982, when I was 17, I was out on a date with a boy I had been seeing. A friend of mine had called me the week before, telling me that he had a friend coming from out-of-state that he thought I’d get along with (whether to date or just be a friend). I had told him that I would gladly meet his friend, but I was really busy…I’ll get to him about when we could get together.

Well, this particular evening he had called my house. My father answered, telling my friend that I was out at the roller-skating place that was popular at the time. Of course, he neglected to say that I was on a date!

Now, I said that we had gone roller-skating. I can NOT skate. I just wanted to see the place, just to say I’d been there. My date was helping me get used to having wheels on my feet. After a while, I could go forward with a minimum of trouble.

I saw my friend come in. I turned to my date and told him that I saw a friend of mine; I was going over to say hello. I picked up speed and made my way around the floor. I was feeling MIGHTY confident. I turned a beautiful corner…now I was REALLY feeling proud of myself. I look over to my friend and start to wave and say “Hi!”…

…neglecting to notice that I had approached the part of the floor where it joined the carpeted waiting area!!!

WHAM!!!

I landed flat on my booty.

My friend walked over and introduced me to his friend. I smiled up at his friend and said, “Hello…help me up?”

…and THAT is how I met my husband!

I should really get back on my rollerblades sometime…

nobody told me they only have a brake on one skate…

REAL skates had brakes on both, so when I leaned back when the pizza was announced…

anyway, the colors on THAT bruise were a Kodak month!

There’s usually a “splat” after panel 1.

Oh, to be young again, and to be able to find that experience to be “fun.”

Each one of you should wear only one skate and skate at the same time.

This was my exact experience with roller blades.

Verbatim.

I wanted these too, but realized there are no proper breaks on it. So too scary in the traffic.

nice stakes just white like om