Frazz by Jef Mallett for August 17, 2023

Who’s going to watch the watchmen?

I don’t know a single retired person who wants to climb the ladder to the lifeguard tower more than twice in one day.

I used to have a Red Cross Lifeguard cert. But I’m sure it expired more than 55 years ago. And I’m wondering what the pay would be even IF I were willing to sit for that long and stay alert. BORING!

If you’ve got the hat, what more do you really need?

Put a senior in a lifeguard chair under the hot sun wearing a big, floppy hat and he’ll be asleep in ten minutes.

Lifeguard needs to be certified?

My uncle was a school teacher, and spent every summer lifeguarding till he was in his 60s. But he was in remarkable condition for a man his age.

The problem with getting retired people is that you have to be in really good shape, and most 70 year olds aren’t great swimmers.

Because they are not retired. They are working the jobs that one can’t stay at home and do.

As long as they close the pool for my afternoon nap.

Hey! Stop teasing about my Tilley hat! You can keep ten bucks in it just in case, And if you put your address in it they’ll mail it back to you if it blows off your head while hang gliding!

And sometimes floppy clothes. Why? Because comfort beat style when one is past the daily work grind stage.

They’ve actually been doing this somewhere in summer of 2023, NYC I think. Mostly retired former lifeguards.

And our skin is already sun damaged because we grew up before there was sunscreen and were expected to play outside all summer, until we were “brown as a berry”.

You’re drowning and your choice is a college swimmer or a retiree in a floppy hat?

It so happens I have a very nice Panama hat, thankyouverymuch. Also, I can’t swim.

As a retired people myself, who was a lifeguard on my youth, I can assure that it’s a good 15-20 years since you’d want to rely on me to be effective in that job.

Not sure they would be quick enough. Unless its Dustin Hoffman. (Stranger Than Fiction)

I don’t have a floppy hat!

Considering I’m only in my 50s but I’m already seeing people my age with canes and walkers or who can’t walk up a single flight of stairs without pausing for breath, no, I’d rather not have octogenarian lifeguards.

Caulfield seems to think that all there is to it is sitting and blowing a whsitle at people

Sigh. Said the young men who have NO idea what it’s like to grow old. sigh.

College? Why not high school? There was a newspaper article about a girl near where I live who was still in high school when she was hit by lightning. She’s lucky to be alive.

A retired friend of mine applied to work at the pool this year (at the gate, though she’s won gold medals in the senior olympics). When the computer asked for her birth year, it wouldn’t accept it. She was born in 1927.

I would think a major reason public pools reduce hours or even close for the season this time of year is because of lower demand; or at least that would be part of it. Correct me if I’m.