Free Range by Bill Whitehead for February 23, 2023

He’s just part of the new "frat"ulence circuit.

Uber beef

He isn’t quinoa on the idea.

now shaddup and eat yer beans

we’s gonna have us a tootin’ contest!

Discouraging words.

Ya tell ’im now, Zeke! YA TELL HIM!! If he don’t eat cow, then he IS cow. Send ’im in to the meat factory!

Is that Uber Eats on horse back? How are they even going to find him anyway?

But the cows say that is all they will eat!

If we’re going to have vegetarian wraps, we’re going to make our own.

“You’re gonna eat beans! Like they did in Blazing Saddles”!

Get a rope…

You just mosey on outta here, Pardner!

Yeah, and if the picante sauce is made in New York City, that, a hangin’ offence!

The delivery charge must be enormous.

Lessn’ ya get enough sticky rice and fortune cookies fer the rest of us! An’ somma that tangy dippin sauce.

Pony Express Eats. Yes, it does make for a somewhat unfortunate acronym.

Keeping true to his roots, Clem threw the cell into the bonfire…

Alton Brown could have done this on Good Eats.

Maybe ordering for his horse?

He’s hotter than a jug full of fire ants.

I’ll bet he is from New York City

This here is a Grub Hub

I couldn’t help hearing Festus Haggen’s (Gunsmoke) voice when reading todays dialog.

They misspelled ‘outfit’.

Yeah, we eat vegetarian around these parts. Well cows are vegetarians.

Thank God your sainted ma didn’t see that…

This will most certainly NOT happen on the Yellowstone Dutton Ranch. Ever. Rip will beat your @$$.

“Listen here, Tex — if I can be a cowboy with a cell phone, getting bars out here in the middle of nowhere, and Uber Eats is gonna deliver, then you can take your ‘durns’ and ‘dangs’ and stick ‘em where the sun don’t shine!”

What happens when a California cowboy moves to Texas.