Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for February 08, 2019

Mama’s little baby lumps shortnin’ shortnin’. Mama’s little baby lumps shortnin’ bread.

You can’t spell “constipation” without Fluffo™.

I am told that pure lard makes the best pie crust … good to the last heart attack …!

Ah.. just what I like, too; a nice high back on the toilet. Book rack, too.

There is Superman, and there is Bizarro Superman.

There is Teresa, and there is Fluffo Teresa.

Reminiscing about the exact moment when the Enigma code was broken. The Germans blundered and by accident revealed Hitler’s Pomeranian was named Fluffo™, after a vegetable shortening used in Québec.

https://i.postimg.cc/7LjPgPBh/Capture.jpg

At first I had reservations – Madonna, Cher, Charo, Pink, Liberace, Teresa – single name celebrity cache is undeniable.

But then I recall aptronyms like Lady Gaga, Marilyn vos Savant, and Anthony Weiner, and I think maybe ғʟᴜғғᴏ Tᴇʀᴇsᴀ ain’t half bad?

Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on some of that

Shake it up, bake it up nice, uh

Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on all that

I so love my baby’s poundcake

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Froggy Hagar the Fluffoble; Poundcake

They sat dejected in their chair, with even their recipe books fat-shaming them… just trying to remind themselves, “I’m not fat, I’m fluffo!”

Down in the dumps, been taking your lumps?

Have no fear, Fluffo T is here

Better than lard, with stools so hard

Oh so lame, you’ll want to adopt a silly name!

“make lumpy better”?

I haven’t seen young Clarence Rutherford since “Leave It To Beaver”" left the airwaves.

Is he unwell?

Apropos of nothing: The name of Montego Bay, Jamaica, was derived from the Spanish name manteca bahía (or Bay of Lard), alluding to the lard-making industry based on processing the numerous boars in the area.

It seems to be telling us that the person is sitting on perfect muffins.

Has Teresa been peeking at Mary Worth’s recipes?

Portions of this seem to be segments of the Little Dufus’ Pancake secret pancake recipe. It was deliberately cut into segments and pasted randomly onto a large sheet of poster board, along with several other recipes. Only a Little Dufus’ master chef can adequately decipher the recipe now. It is a carefully guarded trade secret of Froglandia’s Own Little Dufus’ Pancakes and Sausages.

None too subtle advertisement for Fluffo. But what on earth is Fluffo? Would I use it in baking up a batch of perfect blueberry muffins? (That’s probably the only kind I’d bother to bake; and they would have to be slathered with a good homemade butter-vanilla frosting, too. So, where does the Fluffo fit in?)