Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for July 05, 2023

Neil Young

Old Man

No. Swapping spit with friends with benefits is NOT what we mean by “a trade”.

Comic Stripping?

…this literally is a miscarriage of justice…

…or an urban myth rock group …

…I’ll have a Shirley Temple in a bottle, please…

…might as well learn a trade…

…college is a vast money making machine that will only keep your interest on your bank loan…

…you will be paying the mobster type loan off until you die…

…and won’t be able to get a job in your area of expertise…

…because school doesn’t give you the hard tacs…

…it’s all a gimmick…

…doctors nowadays are grocery boys…

…assembly line workers…

….NEXT! …

…Sir…

…this i a post office…

…I’m not quite sure the point you’re trying to make…

…I think he’s a failed artist, Sam…

…said the next in line to her significant other…

…yes, he is that lame…

…just punch in your card number and get us out of here…

…yes, we could go to Dollar Tree…

…Dollar Tree isn’t was it used to be…

…‘hair plugs,’ the clerk sneared as he handed them their bags…

…them two are batty..

Java The Hut…

Gilligan coined The Girls Hut.

Does proficiency in the use of telephone directories count as a trade?

Since I gave up being a day trader, I’m picking up rough trade.

I figure he’s confused about his future…but maybe take off the blue polish before baking “unwanted piggy” pies… we wouldn’t want blue chips in the crust….Eww!

The eggman said to the walrus…

Drat rugrat, pull my fringer,,/not my Lego, eggo…

Porkers playing poker w/stacked women against the high tide…

A mensch for two pitchers and an outfielder. (After Clifford Odets, from “Awake and Sing.”)

Pretty nice nail polish, by the way, young man.

Is “tadago-pie” the name of the group or the hame of the album?

And go west.

I worked at two skilled trades, first heat treating and then programming. I have a postcard on the wall in my computer/music room that has a great art deco poster of a welder that’s captioned, “There’s money in arc welding!”

Shazammm! I just found out my granddaughter, a great artist and writer, has stopped her university schooling and has enrolled in a trade school WELDING program for 6 months…!

( to which I say …ahem… weld [sic] done! )

What’s all this about learning a trade? Any old post can trade. Post trading post. You callin’ me a post? Dense, hard headed, stiff…. Or up right, tall, supportive, structurally sound? I’m more of an outpost, really, a pie trader. Got pies, need pies, swap pies, just me and my sweetie pie. Poor little piggies, didn’t even get to go wee wee wee. Now it’s just pie in the sky for them, and nothing but a post-it note footnote. That’s younger me in the bottle. Pop the top to hear the secret message, but not before completing the maze, otherwise you’ll just be makin’ snowballs with fingerless gloves. Did somebody say Pie? Mmmmmm, window sill the deal, little orange houses, for me and you. Oops, I left my blue in my other pants, but it seems like a fair trade.

The longer I was among them, the more they trusted me. I became like a tree, a table, or a lamp. I was practically invisible. In time, I learned more about their culture. In addition to the Bronies, the adult male cos-play fans of My Little Pony, there was also a group dedicated to a fictional horse show in the Teen Titans Go! universe, called Pretty, Pretty Pegasus. The most interesting part was that aside from a few references in the TTG! show, the only PPP material was fan fiction by this group who referred to themselves as PegiNation. Their rituals were as horrifying as they were fascinating.

Crazy Brits! You can keep all three of your foul tadago-pies, thank you! Patooey! It’s a maze. Zing! The half-gloves and blue-tipped thumb and middle finger, left hand, suggest to me that this dude already has a trade and is but mocking the Little Book of Helpful Hints and Smug Aphorisms. Is it not obvious?

Sherlock Holmes would be proud. We are looking at a left-handed, dainty, Cornish hitman with a deadhead-girl on his conscience (such as it is) and a taste for arcane traditional food. —Shouldn’t be hard to find if in Froglandia! The Froglandian Bureau of Investigation is not lame when on the job….

They aren’t outsourcing drywallers to Thailand. You’re not getting car repairs at a sweatshop in Honduras. Tradesmen make better money than most cube dwellers.

Sir, I am a Poet and a Lover! Tragedy is my forte. If that isn’t what you care for, it’s none of MY business.