Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for December 26, 2017

Trying to imagine the process whereby Richard walks in on this conference, but I’ve lost all track of what day of the week it’s supposed to be or what time of day, or anything else. That is, if we were ever told.

Dad flew back from the Middle East on his lunch hour?

It would take an internet ninja travel agent to arrange for this intervention.

So the phone call Gil was going to make last week was to Rick(ey)’s dad?

I’ve got a feeling Rick(ey) won’t be too upset that Uncle Tonoose has to go find a new couch to surf.

It’s too bad all this blew up as it did. Tonoose had just booked Ricky for a week at the newly revamped Marti Moon Amphitheater next to the Swifti-Mart!

Gil must have Rick’s dad on speed dial and asked him to catch a ride on the Concorde back to Milford. Now Marty Moon’s twin brother gets kicked to the curb and Rick is back in the game just in time for the play downs.

In all reality, is that Rick singing Hit the Road Jack by Ray Charles ?

In all reality, is that Rick singing Hit the Road Jack by Ray Charles ?

In all reality, is that Rick singing Hit the Road Jack by Ray Charles ?

9:35 a.m.. GilPa’s office. Mario Soto tenderly embraces Connie, whispering in he elfin ear, Daddy’s home. Daddy’s home to stay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdVbnzcnscw

He’s not there because of any call from Gil about his stupid brother in law. Dude came home for Christmas and got in late, y’all relax. I can list about a half dozen families, right now, with folks home for the Holidays (take that, Christmas!) from the Mid-East and Afghanistan.

Meanwhile, Gil has blown yet another season in the weak Valley Conference by changing the offense after watching “We Are Marshall” for the twelfth time. Milford now dead last in shower references in the Valley.

Hopefully Richard got a cell phone for Christmas so he can communicate with his wife and son on what’s going on in their lives while he’s half way around the world…I mean you would think he would want to know…

Yay! I was right that it was too stupid to believe that the dad would fly back unannounced, and know to just show up at Gil’s office during the conference. Which meant that of course it happened. So who told him what was going on, Rick? Which means that Rick already knows what’s going on. Or did Gil really overstep his bounds? Or did the Internet Ninja tap some keys and alert him?

I guess the Merry Christmas time-out machine temporarily propelled us forward in time and now we’ve returned to Gil’s pre-Christmas office. I certainly hope no one touched any of those artificial snowflakes or we’re in for a disaster. Or at least another lame story.

While Gary sings “Leaving on a jet plane”, Uncle Gary boards something called an “Electra” and is never heard from again

Saved from a future of one-night gigs at Moose Hall after Moose Hall, Rick will now go out onto the field for the season finale and lead the veer directly into a concussion-producing collision that puts him into a coma until baseball season. Fist pump, everyone!

Remember, kids, anyone who expresses concern about football causing brain damage is a crook with bad intentions!

“What’s your name?

Who’s your daddy?

(He rich) Is he rich like me?

Has he taken, any time (any time)

(To show) to show you what you need to live

Don’t feed the trolls. Don’t feed the trolls. Don’t feed the trolls.

Thank God Daddy’s home. Uncle Butthead will get himself put straight now. Maybe the story will move on now.