Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for April 16, 2022

“For a slider, I’ll call you a—hole.”

For a pitchout? Low? High? Inside? Outside? Can Gregg at least see position of Wilson’s glove? “I bet nobody will notice” declining readership until it’s too late.

Great idea! Don’t tell the coach about your little strategy either

Called it, Sort of. Foolish of me to think the little windbag would not want to use his vocal cords. Does Wilson Henry call the game or does Gil and Kaz signal in the pitch?

“For a sinker, I’ll call you ‘Old Man’. For a slider, I’ll call you ‘Geezer’. And for a knuckleball, I’ll call you ‘Grandpa’!”

“No plan of operations extends with any certainty beyond the first contact with the main hostile force." (Helmuth von Moltke)

And I’ll use my falsetto voice if it’s high and tight and my basso profundo voice when Wilson wants it low and away. Jeez, I used to think Gil was way overpaid (huge office, no teaching assignment, custom coffee mug) for this gig. There’s not enough moolah in Missoula to offset the challenge of managing this band of misfit rocket scientists.

If I need a smoke break, I’ll cal for Phillip Morris.

Would a Balk be pitch uncalled for?

Does the optician in town only visit once a year for checkups? I guess that isn’t an option.

Looks like scooter likes to talk with his hands a lot. I doubt Greg will be able to see that either.

P4 “Now Give me your dirty love, like your mama make her fuzzy poodle do, you little yapping chihuahua!”

Gregggg’s trophy wife might fit right in with the commenters here

So Scooter is a short idiot barbarian with a preschooler’s nickname who’s not cute and “yaps like a chihuahua”. I’m still trying to figure out if we’re supposed to admire Charis’s “edge” or if one of the subplots is about why Scooter tolerates her derisiveness.

Using one of the few cryptic clues, my prediction is that Gregg needs some sort of surgery to correct his vision, but his family can’t afford it since his father is a freelancer who writes Yelp reviews for a living.

So Scooter “fun to have around” Borden’s name is Eli, which he doesn’t like, and his girlfriend calls him “E.”, because “Scooter” is for pre-schoolers. How about calling him “Yapper”, or maybe “Chihuahua”? Personally, I like “E.Huahua”.

Fearless prediction: In a future game, Scooooter screws up his oral signals a couple of times, resulting in wild pitches or long home runs. Gillll bitches out Gregggg for not following the calls. Eventually, after 2 months of agony Gillll discovers Gregggg’s vision problem and it’s resolved so simply that it causes major aggravation amongst the readers due to the huge waste of time. And speaking of wasting time, you can waste a full half minute by reading today’s edition of Mopped Up Thorp.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

“If it’s a fastball, I’ll call you Gregg. If it’s a curveball, I’ll call you Greggg. Changeup, I’ll call you Gregggg. Slider? Greggggg.”