Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for May 26, 2022

Did the good dr. have a face lift between yesterday and today? Doesn’t have the Rosie O’Donnell look anymore.

P4: Se, we build a cage around the pitchers mound, and…

Maybe a suit of armor might work.

Since when have you been concerned about actually doing your job Gil?

P4 “You really enrolled me in umpiring a academy, coach and you gave the school a reference on my behalf doc?”

Whatever Gil and Doc’s solution is, this kid is way overplaying his hand with “No Way”. Take it or leave it kid.

When Gregg takes the mound he’ll be required to carry a white cane and go out with a seeing eye-dog… Actually, that should scare the hell out of the batter.

Make Greggg the umpire, bringing truth to the catcalls “What are you blind, Ump!”

“And tomorrow you’ll start an internship at the Daily Planet.”

So, what, he has to wear a helmet?(and them shoulder m’pads)

P4- Here’s the plan Gregg. There’s a reason Little League teams put their worst defender in right field, so that’s where we will spot play you. Don’t worry, there are plenty of 3 leaf clovers out there and our biggest booster Wildcat can watch you from his 3rd floor penthouse suite.

Ryne Duren glasses for sure

P 4: “…that’s right son,….you get a loofah from everyone on the team from now until the season ends…”

If Gil is sympathetic, he’s hidden it well.

Gregg will be allowed to throw batting practice with a screen in front of him like they do in the big leagues.

or P 4: “…yeah…we figured that you would say that so go clean out your locker and get the HECK out of my sight…haha…no pun intended…”

Geez….bring back CK and Mimi…

“We’re going to let you coach second base!”

P 4: "…were gonna “let” you sit in the dugout, but first….you have to find it and without Scooter’s help…"

We’ll move the SS and 2B up to be right next to you, or you can pitch from 2nd Base. Your choice.

After you throw the ball, run over to the dugout.

We’ll dig a little trench behind the mound. After each pitch you dive down into the trench.

P-4: What do you want me to do with a white cain?

Well, there goes second in the Valley muses the Gilfather.

I think I predicted what the doctor would say the other day. He will have to wear the caged facemask like the girls’ softball team. Should be a few around since there was no team this year. Hence his complaint.

Actually, Gil, your job also includes winning games, which is hard to do when your pitcher is blind.

To make him feel like part of the squad, they’ll let him drive the team bus.

P3- You can pitch our last game if you take Dr Pearl to the prom.

Three-way?

He has to turn in his dad to the authorities, end this plot, and send us to Milford CC!

“What? No way! I’m not wearing that outfit! There are no cheerleaders in baseball!

I will be stunned, absolutely STUNNED if the doctor’s suggestion is even remotely believable. In anticipation of the big reveal, I’m already starting to fire up the flamethrower. And speaking of fire up, I hope you’re fired up to read today’s Mopped Up Thorp.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

If her grand solution is to wear a caged helmet, she’s still getting the flamethrower. How about him not even be able to see the plate? Potentially beaning multiple opponents? Getting hit in the chest, neck, groin by a line drive? Getting beaned himself when he’s in the batter’s box trying to raise his .000 batting average?

And of course Peacocks. Harack!

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