Herman by Jim Unger for March 23, 2022

Time to talk pay raise, Gladys.

It would be funny if it weren’t true in so many cases.

I’m looking at him and looking at Francine and thinking: Good Golly! How much money does he have?!

I’m sure it’s happened….BOO HISS

what money and power do for the corrupt – still need a scapegoat if the wife finds out – quick where’s the VP

What if Francine meets Mrs. Exec. on the way down?

Atta Boy!!

Do you think the Mrs. will get suspicious when she finds out that Gladys can type?

So this is why he keeps Gladys around.

Survival instinct on high alert. Doesn’t matter that Gladys can’t type or that Francine is the best secretary in history.

Won’t have time to explain to beloved if she has already shot you — or worse yet — Francine!!

It’s called role play but he’s serious about it.

It’s a necessary subterfuge since the Mrs. will know what’s happening with Francine. How do you think the Mrs. nabbed him in the first place, replacing the first Mrs?

I remember a meeting we had at a small company I worked for over 30 years ago and one topic was making personal calls. We only had three lines at the time. The manager said that he didn’t mind short calls, like to your wife or your girlfriend…at which point one of the oldest guys working there interrupted and said, “Can you call your wife AND your girlfriend?” Manager said he could use the phone all he wanted.

…Baller Move, B!

I started a new job. My wife asked what my secretary looked like. I very honestly that she was OK looking, if a little matronly. Well, at a company party she met my secretary, but she also met my “assistant,” who was an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10. I got a lot of ribbing over the years about not having mentioned my assistant, but in my defense, I had simply answered the question that was asked.

About 10 years later, I changed employers again. This time she asked about my secretary (same answer as my other job) AND my assistant. I told her that I did not have one in this job which was true. What I did not tell her was that the lady in the office next to mine, with whom I occasionally worked on joint projects. . . was an 11. Needless to say, I got more ribbing after my wife finally met my co-worker.