Monty by Jim Meddick for August 18, 2013

You do know that they knew that you were in there, don’t you Monty?

Jehovahs don’t like Rovers

How did Monty know they were coming? Or does he always hang out in a phony doghouse? —-With a puppet on his left hand.As E.B. said….

Great ad JimDog owners can read the magazines/brochures online at www.jw.org My favourite is:http://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/good-news-from-god

They hand you the brochure then ask for money. I once told them, before they started to talk, that I didn’t want their brochures. They stopped coming around.

They weren’t intimidated by a dog. They were intimidated by a crazy man barking with a dog puppet on his hand.

I invited them and told them I am a nudest pagan as I started to disrobe I’ve never been bothered again 10 years & counting

I would hold my hand up in front of my face with my thumb touching my nose, flap my fingers and give a “raspberry.”phthuuuetc.

True but old story: My mother really disliked these door-to-door missionaries when she was a devout Catholic and had two priests as brothers. She was also old-school Irish.

She started telling them she was not interested. Then don’t come around any more at our door. They ignored her. That was a mistake!

They seemed to like coming to our house. Maybe they made a secret mark outside. Over and over they came to our door. I was getting tired of saying my mother wanted them to leave.

She was never one to suffer silently. She never backed down. One day I answered the door and there were two of these missionaries. I told them my mother said she will be right there.

Meanwhile the two folks started in on me saying I needed to be baptized again to enter heaven. At the very moment that they were talking about “The water of life” my mother came around the house with a garden hose and sprayed both of them. They left in a hurry and never came back. I was astonished but proud of my Mom. "Here’s your water of life she said, now get off my property!

I saw them from across the street, so when they knocked on my door I was ready…naked as a jay bird, the one guy couldn’t stop looking at my johnny…Hmmm.

when I was a kid and salesmen or other pests came around, the neighbors would call each other and warn them not to answer the door.

I start talking about how Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married and how their descendants were all the kings and royal families who ruled Europe the past thousand years, and they get away from me as fast as they.

I just say no thanks and they seldom come back (it helps that I’ve not fixed the doorbell) but I have to be on the lookout when expecting anyone even though close friends know to come to back door where I always am.

Good Morning everyone;

Well – I’m one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and I’d like to clear up a few of the misconceptions on here:

- I get along GREAT with dogs. I carry Milkbones with me :-)- We NEVER ask for money.- We would never say you need to get baptized to get into heaven.- And, if you don’t want us to visit you, just ask the Witnesses to put you on the “Do Not Call” list.

No problem.

I like to invite them in to share in a Satanic Ritual. Always keep a goat in the living room…

I’m a believer, and I respect everyone’s private views, believer or not. But if you think you’ll change people’s beliefs by dropping in unexpectedly and giving brochures, you’re sadly (and funnily) mistaken.

No Jehovah’s Witesses in my country, but we have something truly terrible: I get at least 5 calls and 10 messages a day from frauders. I’d personally like to hose them, but with acid instead of water.

I had a Jehovah’s Witness come to my door a few weeks ago. We had an interesting conversation. Interesting to me but not so much for her I’m sure. I kept asking her all these question such as how come there are so many inconsistencies and inaccuracies in the bible, and if everything has a creator, then who created the creator? Needless to say she wasn’t able to answer any of my questions and she didn’t even try (how could she?) She came back a week later and handed me a lame “Look! I am making all things new” tract. She told me she’s going away for 6 months and will come see me again when she returns. Fine by me, that gives me plenty of time to go through the tract and rip all of the arguments in it to shreds. Can’t wait for her return!

Don’t answer the door naked; the JWs are onto that trick and bring a little kid along, so if you expose yourself to a minor you’ll be a registered sex offender for life.

Want to get rid of JWs? Answer the door nude.