Monty by Jim Meddick for May 02, 2021

Should have bought the book before buying the plant.

To paraphrase Woody Allen, Monty is at “two” with nature.

Its a goner…………..

https://i.redd.it/zq4yt0ik0wk51.jpg

D.O.A.

I stick with outdoor plants.Let nature guide their watering and natural sunlight.Plus, it’s easier to know when they need watering by the soil texture in close proximity.

Being a Brit, I read that as “E to Zed” . . . which didn’t make much sense. (“A to Z” is, er, OK!) Yeah, I know: it’s “EE-ZEE” isn’t it.(We stopped saying “zee” a couple of hundred years ago: you got it from us!)

I have 200+ plants in the next room. Watering is minimal and only when they are DRY. Even shriveled plants will come back with a good drink. Plants in mud will shrivel too and nothing brings them back.

I think Monty’s plant committed suicide.

This is pretty much the result of following an E-Z guide to do anything. They were trying to fill up two hundred pages to sell you a book, rather than tell you anything.

… and that was a plastic houseplant.

Apparently it doesn’t like hot coffee…

Toxic air in the house? Where’s the parrot?

I had a similar situation this past month. I got a potted basil plant at the grocery store, and transplanted it to a bigger pot outside. Within several days, the plant started wilting and eventually died. I’ve been doing this for many years now with great results. My neighbor suggests that perhaps the plant contracted covid -19. Yeah, right!

I would love to have house plants that lived past a month or so. I now settle for plastic plants and candles. I have a nice patio that gets almost no shade. I plant fuschias in my hanging planters. Almost everything else dies quickly.

Definitely doesn’t have a green thumb…..

Say GoodBye, Mr. Mulch! :)

Years ago, when I learned that I had the proverbial black thumb, I solved this problem by vowing never to touch another living* plant again as long as I lived. I’m sure they’d thank me for it if they only knew the sacrifice I’d made.

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*By the time they make it to my plate, they’re already dead.

He should try turning it off and turning it back on again.

I guess no one told him about the nuclear waste facility buried under the house.

Some people have Green Thumbs. Monty has the Thumbs of Death. And, he reads too slowly!