Mother Goose and Grimm by Mike Peters for August 16, 2023

Grimmy that sounds wonderful.

This reminded me that my grandma used to fry chicken livers for her Chihuahua.

Good luck with that, Grimmy. You’ll be lucky to get two scoops of scrambled eggs.

Worth a try.

I’d like mine that way too, please.

I’d like mine that way too, please.

hey DON’T PUSH IT NOW, at least she is being nice and ASKING YOU instead of just throwing you kibble at your face.

Man looking for a pickup: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?” Uninterested woman: “Unfertilized.”

“Good morn’, Daddy.”

And I said, “What do you want for breakfast!?”

The four-year-old has the ability to see through and find the wrong thing. The child saw through my body what was behind me. She saw the chocolate cake.

She said, “Can I have the chocolate cake?”

And I said, “Chocolate cake, where?” She said, “Chocolate cake behind you.”

And I looked and there was chocolate cake! The child wanted chocolate cake for breakfast! How ridiculous! And I said… and someone in my brain looked under chocolate cake and saw the ingredients: eggs! Eggs are in chocolate cake! And milk! Oh goody! And wheat! That’s nutrition!

“What do you want?”

“Can I have some chocolate cake?”

“Chocolate cake coming up.”

Sliced it for her and served it.

“Now, you need something to drink with the chocolate cake, something breakfast… grapefruit juice!” So I give the child a glass of grapefruit juice and chocolate cake - nutrition. Eggs, milk, and wheat in the chocolate cake. And I didn’t have to cook.

And the other four came downstairs. And when they came downstairs. Those of you who have children, you’ve seen them come downstairs for school. And they got to the kitchen. They saw the four-year-old eating chocolate cake.

And they said, “Dad! Where did she get the chocolate cake?”

And they went to the child and said, “How did you get chocolate cake?”

She said, “Dad give me chocolate cake!”

And they looked at me and said, “Father… could we have chocolate cake?”

And their father said, “Chocolate cake coming up!!”

Four slices and grapefruit juice! And five children sat at breakfast and the morning music was playing and they were eating chocolate cake and singing songs to me: “Dad is great! Give us the chocolate cake!”

Chocolate is toxic to dogs.

Brilliant! Can I use that?

Cakes count as protein! Brilliant, Grimmy.

Might as well put arsenic in it too! Would end up w/ the same result regardless! Chocolate is poisonous to dogs.