Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 15, 2011
Transcript:
Voice from television: This just in... a medical researcher announced a surgical procedure on Twitter, claiming it will end all the problems in the world... this world-altering report is unconfirmed, but we're repeating it because it's on Twitter. We'll keep you posted on the miracle known as a "stinkybooger-brainectomy" as soon as it's Tweeted.
comicgos over 13 years ago
Danae you are very very bad!
GROG Premium Member over 13 years ago
What a bunch of twits!
black_knight15_au over 13 years ago
To twits - it seems they wish every day was April 1st…
Nebulous Premium Member over 13 years ago
I see one problem with this scheme. The Stinky boogerbrains who need it most, won’t get it.
fringquist over 13 years ago
Danae, the FOX news source.
roctor over 13 years ago
In an effort to reduce costs of news gathering sources. Twitter, Facebook and Wikipedia have become the go to guys for unresearched information. Far less costley to broadcast they were duped a day later than pay for a full time employees. Sign off alway includes contact us when you see news happening. Basiclly you doing their job.
lewisbower over 13 years ago
An unreliable source says Republicans plan to double spending on social programs while Democrats will cut taxes in half. This report has not been confirmed.
lakita_lover over 13 years ago
And this is why no one should take twitter seriously, especially reports. Any twit could be making up stuff.
Can't Sleep over 13 years ago
This just in!
Charlie Sheen volunteers for first stinkyboogerbrainectormy!
Surgery to coincide with start of his “Flaming Colon of Stupidity” tour (featuring Carrottop), this fall.
barbfrost over 13 years ago
Of course this procedure is strictly designed for the male persuasion.
Potrzebie over 13 years ago
What if Jeffey takes her forward in the time machine and she meets grown-danae?
Kerovan over 13 years ago
@Darkeforce
As opposed to BBS?
Varnes over 13 years ago
Nothing scarier than a smile from Danae…creepy
Destiny23 over 13 years ago
Well, since a stinkyboogerbrainectomy will remove all males from the planet, that’ll certainly reduce the population, which will solve some problems. But even you will miss boys some year, Danae!
I wonder if she remembered to create a Wikipedia entry for “stinkyboogerbrainectomy”, so the media will be able to “verify” her tweet…
Dry and Dusty Premium Member over 13 years ago
She’s so proud of herself! Look at that evil grin! :-D
alan.gurka over 13 years ago
“Stinkybooger brainectomy” was the give away, Danae.
MatureCanadian over 13 years ago
Hilarious! Thanks Wiley you made my day….again!
dflak over 13 years ago
Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.
One of my favorites from long ago was, “According to military sources in Siagon …” who was the newly arrived PFC on the barstool next to the reporter who nodded his head whenever the newscaster said something the newscaster wanted to confirm as fact.
freeholder1 over 13 years ago
1976 the movie “Network” predicts EXACTLY this kind of thing with their Mad Prophet of the airways (We’ll miss you Glen.) + 1996 Fox News starts churning out drivel + 2006 Katie Couric takes over as anchor on CBS News+ 2011 movie “Morning Glory” the producer of the morning show tells Harrison Ford’s hard news oldie that the war between entertainment and news is over and THEY(news) lost.
National Enquirer is now the standard for “journalism.” We have 24 hours to fill and we can’t wait for the truth to come out. Either to producers OR the public that watches. Gossip is easy and requires only a Danae imagination./ Finding the facts and the related truth is much harder.
We think reality is a collection of spoiled brats perpetually acting out and getting paid to do it, so a seriously damaged human being like Charlie Sheen gets a nationwide tour instead of institutionalized.
Life now simply HAS to be one soap opera after another and the middle chorus of a bad country song or it just isn’t right.
I’m sure glad we eliminated teaching about God and the Golden Rule Wiley seems to revere in school. I would have hated for it to ruin the kids.
ccmills over 13 years ago
So Wiley - are you trying to bring down twitter through nefarious means?
Spyderred over 13 years ago
A certain Elephant member of the House admitted that his statement about how Planned Parenthood is 90% about abortions was just repeating what he’d heard on talk radio. So the media is not the only source of repeated lies.
pouncingtiger over 13 years ago
Danae’s ear-to-ear grin is classic. XD
prrdh over 13 years ago
Destiny23 said, about 9 hours ago
“Well, since a stinkyboogerbrainectomy will remove all males from the planet, that’ll certainly reduce the population, which will solve some problems.”
It won’t ‘remove all males from the planet’; it’ll just remove a few pounds of tissue from us that we don’t have any use for anyway.
Ernest Lemmingway over 13 years ago
Never believe anything you haven’t made up yourself.
kfaatz925 over 13 years ago
Love the grin, Danae!
ilsapadu over 13 years ago
Thank you Danae, nothing worse can happen and all is well.
jasx over 13 years ago
FishStix said, about 16 hours ago
(Upon the common use of stinyboogerbrainectomies, Democrat registrations declined by 90%; Republican registrations increased by 87%. The federal budget was balanced the following week!)
I must admit I love commenting on FishStix’s irrelevancies, - mostly because I’ve seen him be so rude & intolerant towards people that have tried to have a civil or rational discussion with him .. & 2ndly, well because it’s just so easy.
Anyway, re Fishstix’s recent comments about Republicans fiscal virtues, can FishStix explain why that when the GOP last had office (for EIGHT years), that from the day President Bush took office (when the national debt stood at $5.727 trillion), how the national debt rose to $10.7 trillion? An 86.8 percent increase on Mr. Bush’s watch.
In a somewhat vain hope, I would love to hear any political or economic theories that you’d like to propose, Mr Fishstix. (& to preempt your usual accusations of my being a panty-waisted, milk-sopping, communist welfare recipient, I’d like to say that I am not specifically a Democrat supporter, but I am a stock market analyst & investor (& I’m not a champagne-sipping neo-liberal socialist : )
pbarnrob over 13 years ago
Nothing wrong with sipping champagne, but you need to be able to afford it first. I prefer non-filtered sake most times. Or a good cheap dark beer. Or Irish coffee.
Research has shown that 93.76% of statistics are totally made-up from whole cloth. Including this one.
flower among weeds almost 5 years ago
Such a fun, yet evil, smile.