Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 16, 2015

But this is just the first box. The next one will explain where all good dogs go…

Some are holier than others.

Thongs would be worse, and incriminating?

On top of everything else the socks have holes in them. Darn those socks!!

If you can’t find a match – you get to return the socks. Getting the right dryer …. not necessary.

argy, after the socks, I assume?….That’s not my concern…..God? She has a sock fetish?…..Who knew?…(OK, I kinda had a clue, but I was sworn to secrecy, darn it all….Anybody see my light bulb?)…..Besides, she can have my socks anytime….Hey, she knocks ‘em off, anyway…..(No, she doesn’t make fake socks) ….Although they’re not pretty, She can have ’em…….

“Give my stomach to Milwaukee, if they run out of beer. Put my socks in a Cedar Box, just get ’em outa here…”

The worst part is that you didn’t get to bring your shoes with you.

Forget getting them back, it would be more rewarding just to know where they went.

Do missing phone chargers come with the package deal, as well?

Socks to be you.

There are a lot of you here today that obviously have NO shame and need a serious ‘booing’. AND probably grew up with a Groucho overload.

Fr. Guido Sarducci told us in the 70’s that when you get to heaven, you get all the stuff you lost in life back. This is old news.

I was told missing socks get sucked into an alternate dimension. This is crazy….

Darn!

Twisting fantasy; straight from the local washer.

Funny how people refer to death as going to your final reward. I’m beginning to suspect it’s only a brief vacation before GOD puts us to work on something really hard.

They were called thongs in Chicago in the 1950s.

Reminds me of a cartoon from years back: Woman on beach, wearing a huge thong (or flip-flop, as they are now—or last I heard—called) covering her “naughty bits”, saying “What? You’ve never seen a woman wearing a thong before?”

“Many people have this TV version of their religion so they don’t even understand the plans layed out in their book of mysteries, wonders and horrors.”~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I have heard that the plans are quite intricate, with sections and subsections and schematics and stuff.

I guess everybody has their own version of heaven.Nothing wrong with that. My particular version is that I will fall into a nice dark endless sleep — and nobody can wake me up for the rest of eternity

and I’ll bet somewhere there are boxes of reading glasses….

We all know that our socks disappear in the black hole the drier but consider this: in another universe our socks appear from the white hole in the drier.

Having the missing socks would be ok, but I’d also like to have back the brands that were discontinued because the Powers that Be got wind of the fact that I liked them . . . grapefruit scented Softsoap, lemongrass Village Natural milk bath, and Kellogg’s Triiple Snack cereal with a blue giraffe on the box. Sometimes when I pass the soap shelves at the grocery, I will check to see whether my beloved has re-appeared. I know the cereal won’t, because it was last manufactured in 1965. Sigh.

Do we get back those “anything goes” fun years?

My heavenly sox box will be empty ‘cause until I find all of my lost sox…I AIN’T GOIN’!!!

I rather see folks sort the sox they lost in life than see that obnoxious kid Danea. For some reason I can’t stand the whiny little bleach.I love the many lives of Homer snd the dog. He has developed into a very interesting soul.

Gokie5, Ben and Jerry’s Kaberry Kaboom…..No chocolate….