Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 09, 2023

Scat, child

Squirrels are sneaky little basturds.

This story line cause me to google squirrel poop. Gosh what a boring life I lead.

That’s the same logic I use to claim that air doesn’t exist. Ergo, there’s no reason for space suits.

These are reruns. Is Wiley on writer’s strike?

ok, putting a stop to this right now. Yes they do! And lots of it.

Wiley is the only person in the world who can get hundreds of thousands of people to Google “Do squirrels poop?” all on the same day.

Has a squirrel ever seen you poop?

Jeffery, I’ve never seen YOU poop, either.

Squirrels are fastidious creatures. They probably collect and neatly package their waste to ship it PoopPS.

They’re just bashful.

“Squirrel envy” … huhhhh?

Jeffery has developed an interesting hypothesis. The fun part of science is developing an unbiased experiment to test that hypothesis. Observation and curiosity make a scientist, not the science.

If a squirrel did not poop it would get bigger and bigger and bigger….. until it explodes.

Now I want to poop…but maybe it’s the coffee.

this is just nuts

Everything has an exhaust pipe

It has been said that everything that eats " poops " ….. somewhere ?

Squirrel poop closely resemble rat feces. Both pests’ poop is dark brown and smooth, but squirrels leave larger, barrel-shaped pellets behind while rats produce small, oblong-shaped droppings with tapered ends.

So Jeffry, have you ever seen Danae poop?……..

So I guess squirrel envy is what you have when you have diarrhea.

I don’t sit around waiting for a Squirrel to do its business but they do a great job of pilfering the bird food my wife puts out in the bird feeders

I suppose that the squirrel privacy veil we call a tail makes the obfuscation of their bowel movements sort of naturally mysterious.

With apologies to Cole Porter …

Birds do it, bees do it

Even educated fleas do it

Let’s do it, let’s go and poop…

Look how low I’ve fallen, commenting on this. Sad.

Danae wants to be constipated for the rest of her short life.

Well Jeffery, would you be comfortable pooping, if a squirrel sat and watched you ?

Recall Wiley’s memorable Sunday strip when the kids watch Dad booby-trapping their bird feeder during a snowstorm.

BWA-Ha-HAAA!!!Come and get it ,squirrels!!

I’ve never seen King Charles III poop, does that mean he’s…. No, I won’t say it…

I am, sort of, where she is mentally.

yuk… i got peed on by a squirrel once…he prob was looking down and thought… ‘’and they call us dumb animals….’’

Don’t knock pooping!!!! That is when I get the time to read all the stupid stuff on the internet on my phone!!!

Years ago I bought a house that had been empty for a few years (the occupant had aged into her 90’s, went into nursing home, and eventually died). It was infested with squirrels when I bought it.

I can assure you all, squirrels most definitely poop. They poop a lot.

The Canada Geese take up the slack

Living in Central PA, I don’t have time to think about squirrel poop because I’m worried about getting horses&$t on my tires wherever I go.

At least one Amish buggy driver has a sense of humor about the matter. On the back of his buggy is a sign that reads, “Runs on 100% biofuel. CAUTION: do NOT step in the exhaust.”

You can’t have squirrel envy, Danae. That’s just nuts.

Once in a while Wiley, you get really funny, and this is an example of a “once”…

If a squirrel poops in the woods and no one is around to witness it, does it still smell?

It’s really small and I’ve had a squirrel poop on my hand.

I’ve never seen electricity, so I don’t pay for it. I write right on the bill, “I’m sorry, I haven’t seen it all month.”

- Steven Wright

If Jeffrey heeded his own remark he would know about the pooping of squirrels. Seems he is either a bad scientist or a lousy observer. Which makes him a lousy scientist, too.