Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for August 10, 2018

No one to give him a hand.

Let’s hear a round of applause from these characters.

What is the sound of no hand clapping?

Not even a chair so that he could do it himself.

You’re supposed to take the toothpick out of the meatball first.

TO ARMS!

TO ARMS!

Now it’s called the abdominal thrust. Maneuvering Over HeimlichBy LENORE SKENAZY | February 21, 2007

“Unbeknownst to most of the public, both the American Heart Association and the American Red Cross have demoted Dr. Henry Heimlich’s famous maneuver. They no longer recommend it as the first treatment for choking victims.It’s not that the maneuver is considered dangerous, or even ineffective. It’s just that, when faced with someone choking, those organizations want you first to try five old- fashioned back slaps, nice and hard, right between the shoulder blades. Only if those whacks don’t work are you supposed to try five “abdominal thrusts.”Yes, that’s what they’re called now. Even the name “Heimlich” has been ejected from this maneuver, like a chunk of half-chewed brisket."

Well, we know what the T-Rex is having for dinner. Or rather “who”.

For a moment, I thought he was choking because he just saw a topless woman.

What a shame he doesn’t need a “short-arm inspection” instead… LOL

(Do they still give those?)