One Big Happy by Rick Detorie for July 16, 2023

Rude microwave.

I do that sometimes.

When the initial heating cycle completes and it flashes the message “FOOD IS READY” I tend to verbally disagree.

The microwave doesn’t care, Ruthie!

Your food is ready, your dude is Freddie, your mood is thready.

All of our appliances “talk”, announcing the beginning and ending of their cycle, and being of the same manufacturer they tend to sound the same, driving us slightly crazy. BUT…the microwave…when finished, will keep on reminding us that it’s completed its job and wants us to do our job (open door and remove food), very annoying.

I don’t understand why my microwave says “your food is ready” when I’m just boiling water.

I was using the self-check at a supermarket. I was reviewing the receipt, and the register kept saying, “Please remove your bags.” I said, “I’m working on it!” An employee passing by said, “She’s very bossy.”

I did the same thing but had a talking microwave; we’re divorced now.