Peanuts by Charles Schulz for February 26, 2019

you’re a ludicrous biographer, Snoopy

1950? That would have made her only 22 at the time Snoopy was writing this. Somehow I expected her to be an older woman.

Wow

What would Snoopy do today with the Kartrashians?

C’mon Snoops! You can’t leave out the racy bits?!

so yesterday’s strip with Peppermint Patty and Franklin was just a temporary blip on the “Snoopy writes Helen Sweetstory’s bio” arc?

Despite wild success in his field, it appears that Schulz secretly longed to be a novelist ….. and maybe a lawyer, WWI pilot, pro hockey player, etc.

At this level of detail, her “biography” is more like a blurb on a single sheet of paper… or if it were 2019, her “biography” as seen on IMDB. ;-)

Snoopy needs to learn about so-called “transition paragraphs.”

Yeah, you don’t wan to ruin your idol adding the adult details.

Snoopy may be a gentleman biographer, but he will likely be an unpublished one, too.

I believe her birthdate was different in the version published in the papers. Unless Miss Sweetstory was a lass in her twenties when she became a famous author. Which could be …

Wouldn’t that be gentle-dog?

Well, I’m hooked. I can’t wait to see the next installment of Snoopy’s magnum opus.

Gentlemen biographers prepare a prospectus to give their agents who in turn use them to whet the appetites of publishers. “The Tall Dark Stranger” and “We’ll Always Have Paris” are provisional chapter titles.

He left out the part about rolling in the hay with the stranger.

“Two years later, in Paris, she was radicalized after a chance meeting with Michel Foucault; she participated in or even led a number of student riots, and was forced to go into hiding. Crossing the border into Germany, she joined the newly-founded Red Army Faction, a/k/a the Baader-Meinhoff Gang, as they waged a terror war on Bourgeois Europe. Narrowly escaping capture in 1975, she returned to America and started writing Communist agitprop aimed at impressionable children. The Six Bunnie-Wunnies are a thinly-disguised version of the radical ‘underground’ groups with which she was intimately familiar from her travels.”

I would have thought she was born on a dark and stormy night.

Gentleman biographer? If Snoopy writes biographies of gentlemen, why is he writing one about Ms. Sweetstory?

“She would always remember Christmas Eve, 1979, as one of the happiest days of her life, but she would never stop wondering if she would have won her medal had the Soviets not boycotted the 1984 Olympic Games. Her mother gave her some advice which proved important, although the blunt delivery had hurt her at the time; on leaving the hospital, she hurried to the nearest pay phone. She wept when she was told of Kurt Cobain’s death, and could not explain why. Later it began to rain again: ‘This is Prom Night all over again,’ she said to herself."

When you’ve only got one sheet of paper…

hope Snoopy gets off this sweet story soon and on to another one

Snoopy needs to take some writing classes