Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 13, 2005

Transcript:

The Adventures of Angry Bob by Rat Type Type "Angry Bob was angry." "'I will attend the flower show at the County Fair,' thought Bob. 'Flowers will make me happy.'" "Angry Bob went to the flower show and noticed this year's theme: 'All Praise Be to the Fairies.'" "'I like fairies,' Bob thought to himself. 'This is a solid, well-chosen theme.'" "Walking the show, Bob saw fairies on the walls, fairies on the gazebos, and fairies floating from the rafters. And Bob saw a large fountain in the center of the room." "Termed 'The Fountain O' Hope,' it was crowned by a granite fairy clothed in Cupid's garb, complete with bow and arrow." "Bob grew romantic. He stared at the red-haired woman next to him and grabbed her arm. 'Here is a penny, ma'am. Although I am a stranger to you, I ask that you join me in casting a penny into the Fountain O' Hope.'" "Reluctantly, the woman took the penny, flicked it into the water and quickly walked away, which Bob did not see, because he had closed his eyes and knelt by the fountain." "'I wish that this beautiful woman will see fit to marry me,' he whispered to himself, casting his penny into the Fountain O' Hope." "As Bob heard the penny's splash, he experienced a euphoric rush of hope. 'My gosh,' Bob uttered, 'This penny worked. I feel it. I believe in this Fountain O' Hope! I believe in this Cupid Fairy!' And so Bob rose." "And lost his balance." "And crashed into the large fountain. And toppled the Cupid Fairly. Who fell arrow-side down atop Bob. Who drowned. In the Fountain O' Hope." "Whoa Whoah...you always say you like to end all these stories on a hopeful note, but Bob's drea didn't come true...you need to end with a dream come true." "The red-haired woman returned to the Fountain and saw what had happened. 'My dream came true,' she muttered."