Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 07, 2013
Transcript:
Pig: So what's the key to being successful in cycling, Jef the Cyclist? Jef: Nutrition, Pig. Treating the body as the holy temple that it is. Pig: What's that mean? Jef: Low fat. High carb. And not just any cares. You want fruits, vegetables, beans, rice, whole grain breads. Pig: What about protein? Jef: Lean protein only. Like fish, and dark-meat chicken. Half a gram per pound of body weight every day. Pig: Wow. You guys really do treat the body as a temple. Jef: We sure do, Pig... Hey, look over there! Pig: What am I looking at? Jef: Sorry. Thought I saw a bowl of granola.
Sherlock Watson over 11 years ago
Does being Lanced like that make his Armstrong?
Bilan over 11 years ago
Is this an accusation against Mallett?
BRI-NO-MITE!! Premium Member over 11 years ago
I got all the steroids I “need right here”. ;)
margueritem over 11 years ago
SNERK!!!
Templo S.U.D. over 11 years ago
the body is a temple, huh?
BillWa over 11 years ago
One of my favorite lines is from a Dirty Pair comic. “Some people treat their bodies like a temple, I treat mine like an amusement park.”
RetFor over 11 years ago
you mean white meat chicken? dark meat is fattier, thats why it tastes better.
paresh_16 over 11 years ago
Wishing you all healthy year ahead on World Health Day !!!!!!
orinoco womble over 11 years ago
Back in the 80s I read a very minor mystery novel set in a fitness centre (really!). The owner says, “The body is said to be a temple, but many people treat it like a cheap motel.”
Sisyphos over 11 years ago
A little quick blood loading (a.k.a. blood packing, blood doping), plus a few injections of steroids, and Jef the Cyclist is ready to make that temple move. Pig hangs out with some shady types (Rat, Jef the Cyclist, Li’l Guard Duck, and even the Crocs, not to mention the worst of all, vile Pigita). It’s no wonder he has a hard time hewing to the straight and narrow.
SusanSunshine Premium Member over 11 years ago
Pastis is ragging on voodoo nutritional fads. .. some of those rare air breathing, gram measuring lycra heads believe that dark chicken is better because it has. ..gosh now i have to Google it…
SusanSunshine Premium Member over 11 years ago
myoglobins
SusanSunshine Premium Member over 11 years ago
Which transfer oxygen better than the glycogens in white meat. .. so dark meat develops better muscle. ..Somebody actually explained this to me.
They seem to forget it only worked when the chicken was ALIVE.
Nachikethass over 11 years ago
I think this means war! Jef has to reciprocate. Naughty, Stephan!
juicebruce over 11 years ago
Where are the Crocs ? Would like a dose of duh !
vwdualnomand over 11 years ago
cycling should just say that they dope, and are ok with it. and, we as a society shouldn’t give cyclists any honors. they are glorified legit junkies.
puddlesplatt over 11 years ago
eat to live is my motto…I tried it the other way and almost died…
Lucid Premium Member over 11 years ago
A temple implies that there is worship going on. What’s the object of his worship here? Looks like victory at any price.
PUNishment over 11 years ago
I believe that the body is a temple too. Unfortunately I’m an atheist.
jmartin1955 over 11 years ago
Jeff Armstrong apparently – hilarious
Cat43ullus over 11 years ago
A temple to the god Mercury,“… the patron god of financial gain, commerce, eloquence (and thus poetry), messages/communication (including divination), travelers, boundaries, luck, trickery and thieves….”[Wikipedia]
SwimsWithSharks over 11 years ago
Go ahead America and be jealous. I’m in shape. (Youtube, Peppermint Patty)
Shrek4259 over 11 years ago
Good one today! Thanks Stephan! I hope someone sends to sir cheats a lots!
Pete Poworoznek over 11 years ago
In some future treasury I see Stephan commenting on how long it took to him to draw Jef’s chest and abs. Nice work sir.
KEA over 11 years ago
I can’t take anyone seriously who dresses like that.
s_roberts99 over 11 years ago
Pastis, Don’t get me started about those #^*@# Mallets. Until those Critical Mass clowns start paying for the roads like us gas taxed drivers they are potential road pizza to me! ;)
Casey Southards over 11 years ago
So true, so true.
The#1BoiseStateFan over 11 years ago
Ay yi yi!
Hectoruno over 11 years ago
so people just give him steroids and it is that fast or is pig just stare that long i mean there are tons of people there like just for that many people would take 15-30 minutes i mean holy moley that’s tons of people and how quiet would it be for crying out loud.
BRI-NO-MITE!! Premium Member over 11 years ago
My body is a temple to Dionysus (aka Bacchus).
finale over 11 years ago
Went to “temple” yesterday. Couple of Chicago Vienna Dogs for lunch. MMMMMMMM.
ellisaana Premium Member over 11 years ago
Plus, on that same trail which is supposed to be shared equally by cyclists, skaters, pedestrians, (equestrians have a parallel trail) there have been quite a few incidents of cyclists riding down pedestrians…in at least one recent case…a fatality to an 80 year old pedestrian.
Number Three over 11 years ago
Don’t worry, Jef. We won’t tell…
LOL xxx
A_NY_Outlaw over 11 years ago
Lance strikes again!
HankTheSock over 11 years ago
@SherlockWatson I knew there would be a comment about Lance somewhere.
Aslan Balaur over 11 years ago
Sounds yummy. Too bad I cannot eat it, due to a gluten intolerance. Have to use gluten free oats, and replace the wheat, rye and barley, since all three have gluten. :-( Other good additives to granola, chia and hemp seeds, flax seeds, hulled roasted pumpkin seeds and dried cranberries. All under the “optional” label, but good.
lisapaloma13 over 11 years ago
Hey, thanks!
Rickapolis over 11 years ago
Pump up, Lance.
emjaycee over 11 years ago
I have the body of a goddess. Unfortunately, it’s still closer to the Venus of Willendorf than the Venus de Milo, but I’m working on it!
Dragon0131 over 11 years ago
Those of you that have 1 out of 20 cyclists following the rules of the road should come to the Chicago area. Here it’s, maybe, 1 out of 50 and many of them ignore the bike route signs in the suburb I live in (due to heavy traffic or no room for a bike lane, some bike routes are actually on sidewalks). Between the cyclists, pedestrians and joggers it’s a nut house out here. Joggers run 2 to 4 abreast in the street and get upset with drivers, they have no reflective items or lights for night time jogging and, even when running against traffic, refuse to move over to the bike path. In the winter I have had numerous occasions where I almost ran joggers over because they were in the street and I couldn’t see them past the 8 foot mound of snow. Cyclists rarely stop at stop signs or stop lights and force cars to come to a screeching halt when they run the red. There has been at least one serious accident with a cyclist. He wouldn’t use the side walk bike path and insisted on riding on the street which is a narrow two lane road with no shoulder. Needless to say, he was injured, the driver was in shock and it tied up traffic. I cycle and walk. I do follow the rules regardless: stop at stop signs and lights, check for traffic, walk on the sidewalk or local nature center and use the designated bike route.
Reppr Premium Member over 11 years ago
I see flocks of Spandex peacocks on a daily basis. I think the bright colors make them better targets (no, not really).
edonline over 11 years ago
I’m sure Pastis modeled Jeff the Cyclist’s physique after his own.
orinoco womble over 11 years ago
Ease up on the caps lock, dude. We can hear you.
water_moon over 11 years ago
If my body is a temple why aren’t there rabbis worshiping in me?
barister over 11 years ago
You know, some folks do actually follow a healthy diet without the aid of roids and other additives. Poking fun at people who care about their body is ignorant. Three cheers to those who DO treat their body well. One day, I will join you.
Chibi-robo64 over 11 years ago
I FREAKING KNEW IT.
BOSFLASH about 6 years ago
Just back from the Tour de France.
dlaemmerhirt999 almost 5 years ago
EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!!! >SOB!< JEF WAS MY HERO!!!! D’X
Spirit749 almost 4 years ago
I take they are pumping in steroids.