Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 27, 2014

Perhaps you could buy a clue…

“I need a smartphone that makes me skinny and rich!”

According to Conan, it’s to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you and to hear the lamentations of their women.

Maybe Rat needs to get an ugly tattoo of vaguely Oriental looking images…. That might make him happy.

Rat and Goat are on such totally different wavelengths; I don’t know why they even go drinking together. [Well, because Cartoon-Boy writes it that way, okay; but I mean, what is their motivation?]

You can’t be truly happy without a Ferrari.

things can’t make you happy Rat

I’m very happy owning… Nada

Every cliche needs to be examined, and it’s become an awful cliche that things don’t bring happiness. Everyone says it, but few act on it.

Maybe it’s a matter of getting the things that go with what really interests you in life.

But why worry about the vanishing snack bowl? It obviously wasn’t making Rat happy.

Me too, even though I know it doesn’t work.

He is happy who is satisfied with what he has.

Buy a Jet Ski. Have you ever seen an unhappy person on a Jet Ski…

Money can’t but happiness, but poverty sure can create misery.

Rat- Click you heels and repeat: There’s no place like foam, there’s no place like foam. Remember, if you ever go looking for your heart’s desire, and it isn’t there, you never really lost it to begin with.

Saw a bumper sticker in Marin County that said, “Those who think money cannot buy happiness, don’t know where to shop.”

No, just follow all the random, meaningless trends that pop up and disappear in a month, that makes you happy….

Because Rat’s a jerk.

xxx

I always heard it as, whoever dies with the most toys—still dies."

The stairway to Heaven cannot be bought or sold, it must be built with steps of love and….wait, there’s someone at my door, let me go get that….Oh my, what cute little rat you are, and what’s that you have behind your back….?!!!

I love Rat. They say money doesn’t buy happiness but how many billionaires do you know that are throwing their hands in the air and giving all of their money away so they can at last have happiness?

Money can’t buy happiness, but just try to be happy without it and see how far you get.

Cool

That is so true.

Out of all the people (besides Danny Donkey) I see with a full cup of beer, it’s Rat.

Classic Rat.