Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 13, 2014

Hey Bombast, I wanted to talk to you about a problem I’ve been having; for some reason, my netflicks have been loading slower lately…

I give up. How can Satan get more evil?

No, that’s not possible. For Time Warner, that day is actually Wednesday. We’re not sure what it was for Adelphia, mostly because the owners skipped town with all of the money…

Then why are they open on a Saturday?

the bigger they are, the harder they fall* – can’t wait.

Whose on first!

I do not blame the cable companies for their typically-shoddy service. The fault lies with the government overlords, in this case local, who grant service monopolies. Where there is competition, there is better quality and pricing, and where competition is politically constrained both suffer. Monopolies can subsist more than generation only with the care and tending by governments.

Actually, Rat would be a natural to work for the cable company.

i don’t think te polar bears would eat what appeared to be roadkill

And they can take their automated service and stuff it somewhere to.

Cable is more evil – and part of that evil is that their call centers ARE open 24/7, their techs make less about $12 an hour and holiday pay is a distant memory.

That means cable techs must work on Christmas to make ends meet and their reward is to have football fans screaming and yelling at them when their is trouble with the service – because apparently, it is okay to take out your frustration on everyone else when you can’t watch football. :: eye roll ::

Enough BS, how about more Crocs?

I always thought there were five "ha"s in an evil laugh, not two: “Bwahahahahahaaaaa!” Then I checked Wikipedia, which says, “In comic books, where supervillains utter such laughs, it is variously rendered as mwahahaha, muwhahaha, muahahaha, buahahaha, bwuhuhuhaha, etc.” Further research is needed.

It’s definitely not you, Rat!

xxx

They seem to have upped their evilness since we’ve been forced to use digital broadcasting. I once got stations 70-80 miles away off my antenna. Now I’m lucky to get stuff from 20 miles away and if it rains, snows or the wind blows, forget it. “Digital Conversion” should have been truthfully titled “Cable Company Welfare”.

Reminds me of a Steven Wright joke.I go to a store sign says “Open 24 hours” and the guy was locking up. I asked him “I though you were open 24 hours?” He tells me “Not in a row.”

I am so glad I no longer have cable or any other medium other than just an antenna. When I turn off the set, which is more often now that I DON’T have cable, there is a lot less crap to miss!.This is a good thing, isn’t it?

It’s not you, Rat! Trust me, it’s not you.

Yes, the cable companies are getting more evil, but you haven’t seen anything yet! (And you won’t see much in the future, either, unless you can afford to pay big bucks for it.)

And of course, who would know evil better than Rat?

Anybody ever hear that infamous call where a Comcast customer tries to cancel his service? Epic in its painfulness and frustration,even if you’re not a cable customer! OY!