Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 07, 2016

I would tell Bob to use my mantra but I forgot it.

Maybe reciting the Deteriorata would help.

Get a job Bobby

“Must Kill Guru”

Or use Dr. Benson’s Relaxation Response in which “One” is intoned as the mantra. It works.

Of course he was kicked out, he couldn’t pay for the class.

Of course, the essence of meditative practice can be summed up in five words: “Sit down and shut up.”

Some gurus are better than others. But there is only one Angry Bob to mess them all up!Rat is right; a high school classmate of mine has become a kind of a guru out on the Left Coast, and it is something to hear/read. Now I shall meditate. Zzzzzz….

The standard mantra is OMM.But for financial advisors, it should be OPM.

Nothing like the power of negative thought……………..

Bob is a financially broke failure because he paid someone for a class on how to sit alone and grunt.Next he’ll be paying someone to “feng shui” his living room.

Nice to see Angry Bob again, but he usually dies at the end of Rat’s stories.

Bob’s mantra is incomplete per the victimization guru’sThey say it should be:Financially broke failureBanks’, government’s, everybody else’s fault.

At least he didn’t die

I have to do meditation in school for three minutes a day.

So, Bob is doing it wrong. Bob will remain a financially broke failure because he thinks (and even meditates) that he is. Law of Attraction and all of that. What you think, you manifest. (Boy, my posts are getting all New Agey today. :-p But it’s true, you have to change your thinking before things will change for you. What you believe, you are.)

I can’t imagine why that wouldn’t work….

It’s certainly not for me!

OK. I’ll be honest. I’ve never tried it.

xxx

But why did his Guru refuse novocaine when he had a tooth pulled?Cause he wanted to transcend dental medication!

Why just sit there when you could actually create something with that quiet time? Knitting in anticipation of making someone else happy is the best meditation there is.

Financially Broke Failure is much too long for a mantra. I’d suggest “Poooooooorrrrrrrrrrr” instead.