Pickles by Brian Crane for July 16, 2009

Opal, you better kick him so you’ll know if he’s faking or not.

Oh stop whining, Earl!

Code Blue! Just in case he’s not “Acting” - If he is, boy will he be embarrassed taking an Ambulance ride to Hospital.

Opal needs to do what Earl does at Home Depot.

Oh Earl, enough of the Fred Sanford routine.

Earl, isn’t there a hardware store in walking distance? Take the car keys with you though.

Earl, just have her pick you up at the nearest bar when she’s done. If you’re plastered by the time she gets there, you’ll have the pleasure of knowing she’s been there a long time and you endured it by soaking up suds.

On the other hand, if I’m doing some shopping I enjoy (for electronics, movies, music) vs grocery & all other forms, 3 hours will actually feel like 25 minutes to me.

Next time, if you plan on enduring it, bring a stop-watch. But 25 minutes would still be an eternity for me with respect to fabric shopping.

My wife seems to live at Hancock Fabric, and I learned to drop her off, and we call each other on our cell phones so I know when to pick her up. Of course, the double hernia picking up her purchases is something else.

That’s funny. I would never bring my kids there when they where little. I do not even go shopping. My husband does.

My Dad used to sit in the car and read the newspaper while Mom went shopping. They were both happier that way.

We went to visit my cousin and one day during our visit, we had the misfortune of being dragged to the yarn shop, where she spent the next two hours. My wife and I decided to see what else was in the neighborhood, but unfortunately there was not much. I sympathize with Earl. Time drags on and on in those situations.

When we go shopping in those type of stores I usually find a place like in the shoe depatmen to sit and wait it out.

‘tis like a glacier in there

nothing amusing but…. During a break from rehearsals on October 11, 1991, a heart attack killed Redd Fox on the set. Reportedly, Reese and the rest of the cast and crew thought he was doing his classic “I’m coming, Elizabeth” fake heart attack routine he made famous on Sanford and Son, even going as far as collapsing to the floor, although that was not part of the usual schtick. However, this heart attack was real, and Foxx never regained consciousness

You should’ve made a BOLT for it an hour ago, Earl!

Now, get up, dust yourself off - and RUN, don’t walk, to (as McGehee typed) the nearest HARDWARE STORE!!!….You can pick up a good hammer, & let the imagination RUN WILD…..

Why does Earl walk out of that fabric store and get in the car and then, he can wait til Opal finishes with her shopping?

I love looking around at the fabric store more than two hours!

But it is SOOOO boring! Are we done yet?

Is Opal unable to drive herself to the fabric store? That’s the ONLY reason I can think of to justify her dragging Earl to go there with her when she knows he considers it a crashing bore!

lol