Pickles by Brian Crane for April 14, 2024

Better wear your glasses in the bathroom from now on!

There have been countless times I’ve gone to bed thinking about all the things I was going to get done the next day only to wake up the next morning and say…..nah!

You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo bottles.

Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?

I like the way you comb your hair. It’s impressive how you’re able to hide the horns.

Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh, either.

You’re as sharp as a rubber ball.

I’d give you a nasty look, but it seems like you’ve already got one.

I’m listening. I just need a minute to process so much stupid information at once.

Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult.

I’m so sorry if my brutal honesty inconvenienced your overinflated sense of self.

I’d say you’re ‘dumb as a rock,’ but at least a rock can hold a door open.

To quote a list Dad made up one day decades ago. If your dandruff, shampoo, mouthwash, aftershave, deodorant, body talc, Prep H, and foot powder work, it’s all good.

I heard a preparation H joke where some guy writes to the company and says the toothpaste works good but tastes awful.

If that’s the best comeback you had you should count yourself as fortunate you couldn’t come up with it while she was still in the room.

But it still kept you from cleaning up the yard.

It’s better than the desperately lame Tom Smothers comeback, “Oh, oh … yeah?”

Everything on my daily “To Do” list is for mornings and early afternoons. By 4 PM I’m wiped, so, “Oh So Sorry, Not Gonna Happen” list!

Keep the super glue far, far away from your eye drops!

“L’esprit de l’escalier”

Why, I didn’t know the yard was dirty.

I think his reply would sound better the other way as thinking the toothpaste was preparation H.

Roscoe seems to think that Earl should wash his mouth out before it shrinks.

The Roscoe is the best today : )

I’ll be back later with a comment on todays’ comic…

The French have an expression “L’espirit escalier” coming down the stairs"

Yep, you and me too, Earl!

If, you thought “that” was a great comeback.. best, you think again.

On the plus side my gums are no longer swollen. :)

Just as bad as when George Costanza came up with ‘jerk store’ too late.

And his mouth shrunk, and his voice sounded like a black capped chickadee.

The old like Jonathan says on that darn commercial… “would of, could of, should of”. The story of my life. Only that’s no joke really because I should of bought life Insurance before my wife passed away 5 years ago. Don’t be sorry about doing something you should have done and didn’t do.

Reminds me of what I think is the funniest bit in the “Dennis the Menace” films, Mr. Wilson’s bathroom mishaps (caused by Dennis, of course ☺):

www .youtube. com /watch?v=uE8yYJmpxeI

(delete the 3 spaces)

I have NO COMMENT

I just hope, Earl, that you didn’t use the whole tube. Otherwise, someone’s going to have ’roid rage…

Poor Roscoe….he gets to hear them………

It’s like what I call my “mañana Spanish”. 24 hours later I realize what I should have said.

Once I woke up and realized I had told a little girl to “call herself her mother” at a children’s party the day before.

What a useless, entitled man.

Earl should’ve broke out with “♫ Tomorrow! Tomorrow!I love yaTomorrow!… ♫”

Roscoe liked the comeback. He appreciates that Earl talking to him.

i know, right?

I’m pretty sure Roscoe got it… I’m not so sure if he liked it though

love that panel 4, where Earl looks at the audience…

Witty Earl is not.

A yard so small, you can shave it!