A trip to the exotic pet store will reward him with some leaf-cutting ants. They should turn that into manageable pieces in no time. He’s just lucky that it didn’t land on his neighbors new car.
When one of us kids would complain about something, my dad would say, “You don’t have to look very far to find someone worse off than you, and yet still smiling. Don’t make them pity you.”
He’s allergic to cats. He sneezed hard enough to lose his balance. The cat will testify that it was not his fault.