Recent Comments

1. 3 months ago on Day by Dave

   But they all pale into insignificance when compared to William Topaz McGonagall (1825 – 1902), the true worst poet ever. As evidence, a few lines from “The Tay Bridge Disaster” (1880). It begins:

   “Beautiful railway bridge of the silv’ry TayAlas! I am very sorry to sayThat ninety lives have been taken awayOn the last sabbath day of 1879Which will be remember’d for a very long time.”And it ends:

   “Oh! Ill-fated bridge of the silv’ry Tay,I now must conclude my layBy telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,That your central girders would not have given way,At least many sensible men do say,Had they been supported on each side with buttressesAt least many sensible men confesses,For the stronger we our houses do build,The less chance we have of being killed.”

   I urge everyone to at least look him up online, but try not to read more than 3 or 4 of his efforts at a time as it makes your brain hurt.

2. 11 months ago on Get Fuzzy

   The worst poet is not Satchel. That honour goes to Edinburgh’s greatest son, William Topaz McGonagall (1825 – 1902). Completely unable to scan or use any form of metaphor, he believed that all a poem needed was to rhyme (nearly). I find it difficult to read more than two or three of his poems in succession before my brain starts to melt, but I still count his collected works as a genuine pleasure. A quick search on the internet will be greatly rewarded.

3. about 1 year ago on The Duplex

   How about “Satan’s armpit smells like dog mess”, or words to that effect?

4. about 1 year ago on Breaking Cat News

   Terry Pratchett wrote a whole book (Soul Music) just to use the line “There’s a guy works down the chip shop swears he’s elvish”, so she’s in good company.

5. about 1 year ago on Speed Bump

   “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?” – Johnny Rotten 1978

6. about 1 year ago on The Duplex

   Carrots and swedes boiled and mashed together. Still won’t touch them more than 50 years later.

7. about 1 year ago on Pearls Before Swine

   You could try GB News or The Daily Sceptic.

8. about 1 year ago on Reality Check

   Or the Mafia response: Once is an accident, twice is coincidence, three times is war.

9. about 1 year ago on The Duplex

   Before I retired, there used to be a weekly competition in our office to see who could get the most steps in. It was stopped when management realised that all we did was pass the monitors between each other whenever we left our desks.

10. about 1 year ago on Crabgrass

    I prefer fluffy Godzilla feet (with battery powered noise box).