Joyeux Noel, y’all! / "My little horse must think it queer, to stop without a pool hall near! / Not bad, eh, Leslie? I wrote that one myself… / Say kid, I got to go in pretty soon. There are lotsa folks waitin’ on me back at the hearth. / I’ve got responsibilities you know. Being Christmas Eve time, I must help with the tree, cook popcorn, and mix the punch and such. / Yes, I’m definitely going in right now! The spirit of Christmas means far too much for me to senselessly violate it! / Also, I’m freezing my fanny off.
who am I? where am I? what’s it all about? / furthermore, what time’s dinner? / Michael Doonesbury, Psychology 10-A, Mr. kessen, Personality Self-analysis, Part IV – Conclusions / The personality tests which I administered to myself were invaluable in determining the variables operative in my anxieties and minor conflicts. / Particularly the thematic perception tests were useful in providing insights into the nature of my childhood frustration situations. / In the final analysis, I feel this investigation has taught me the value of asking searching, essential questions about myself. / am I not a real person? / no, you’re a turkey! / D+, Mike, please see me at my office.
Dear Mike, sorry I haven’t written for so long. I’ve been rather busy. Last month, me and some brothers went all the way to New York to see sister Angela Davis at a victory celebration at Madison Square Garden. But we couldn’t even get in. We couldn’t afford it. See, they were charging up to fifty dollars for one ticket, which ain’t bad for an avowed communist. But it gave me a great idea. I got this friend, Ike, who was busted on a weapons possession charge which later didn’t stick. ‘Course Ike wasn’t going nowhere, ‘cause he’s not a political prisoner. Actually, he’s just a thug. So I says to him, “Ike, what you need is a good agent, someone who can change your image. Yessir, man, that’s what you need.” We open tomorrow at the Copacabana.
But is West Virginia west of Virginia?