Glad to see “Mr. Roberts” at the top of the list. James Cagney, Henry Fonda, William Powell, Jack Lemmon, Ken Curtis, Harry Carey, Jr., Ward Bond, Nick Adams, Betsy Palmer, and don’t forget Marty Milner!
Thanks for the first verse! A few decades ago Yoko Ono made a record in which she sang the second verse (I think it was the B side of a John Lennon single), and that edited version seems to be how I tend to remember the poem.
The problem isn’t with the last syllable. The “i" in the second syllable of the word “tinnitus” is short, and the “i” in the second syllable of the word “arthritis” is long. That’s why the rhyme doesn’t work. Also, the first syllable in “tinnitus” is stressed, whereas the second syllable in “arthritis” is stressed, so the lines also fail to scan properly.
These people are in elementary school!