When I have that problem, I think of a contra tune. For example,a Buddy Holly song or Rage Over A Lost Penny can drive an unwanted tune out of my head!
First, I am very sorry about your husband, That is a horrible disease. Secondly, I hope you’ve had him tested to determine what kind of dementia he has. That makes a big difference in how you treat it, and how you understand what’s going to happen going forward. Finally, please seriously consider placing him in a memory-impaired skilled nursing facility. Some years ago, I was aware of a study showing that people who cared for a dementia patient at home, had an increase of about 65% in their possibility of getting dementia themselves. It was thought to be due to the stress of caring for a dementia patient.
However, such care is quite expensive! If you can’t afford it, consider hiring temporary help who comes to your home during the day to take on the responsibility of caring for your husband. Make time for yourself to relax!
At your age that would be early onset dementia. It’s easily tested for because it’s genetic. So, did one of your parents have early onset? If not, then I doubt you do. It sounds to me like natural aging made worse by your also natural concern.
I suggest to give you peace of mind, you see a Neurologist or Psychotherapist who specializes in dementia who can allay your fears. Also, find mental exercises on the Internet which will help sharpen your mind. Myself, I enjoy Spider Solitary. But there are exercises specifically designed to grow new neurons and pathways in the brain. Additionally, social interaction creates positive chemicals in the brain. Finally, reading nonfiction is also brain stimulating.
“HAPPY 85th BIRTHDAY PRESIDENT BIDEN!!!!!!”President Biden is so physically and mentally frail I really doubt he’s going to last that long.