Reality Check by Dave Whamond for August 21, 2020

Mark my words.

Well, I’m not throwing out my dried-up felt markers anymore.

Bad timing.

Now I really regret trashing 20 years of filed condo newsletters.

No, but if aliens who can be defeated by a drawer full of used rubber bands and twist ties ever attacks, we’ll be in good shape.

Hmm. I would have thought that some Liquid Paper would have gotten rid of them.

Once, long ago, my Dad kept the washed out styrofoam trays that meat comes in. He had stacks of them. I asked why, and he said they would come in handy. They actually did when he packed up the household and used them between fragile items.

You’re in luck ! The markers are still in the trash can. Pick up isn’t until next Wednesday. You’ll find them just under the cat litter.

I know where to find a bunch of old Sharpies.

My wife has nine ballpoint pens in her purse. Hopefully one or two of them work.

Just as I feared.

It’s always the way….

And for many years the only difference between me and a hoarder was I didn’t have the 23 cats. They did find a dead body though, you know, when the county came and cleaned out my stash. I wondered what had stank in the back room.

“Will bent paper clips and old erasers help?”

this is one reason why hoarders say they have all that stuff. you never know when some of it will be needed.

John Lithgow is hoarding for a reason when he meets and falls for Blythe Danner. She convinces him to let it go and move on with his/their life together. The ending is one of the great unexpected plot twists in cinema.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6iRUm-UiFc

Clearly that woman is a spy for the flying giant black donut aliens

Then, there’s my story of a favorite AT&T General Manager who used a permanent marker on a dry erase board.

Just our luck!

There is an infinite supply of dried up markers in all of the schools that have been closed the last 5 months.

And that my friends is why I can never get rid of anything!

Of course three minutes after it’s in the dust bin you wish you’d had saved it !!

I’ve told my wife that more than a few times, she’s still skeptical.