Reality Check by Dave Whamond for December 15, 2023

Nice tie-in of songs.

And then I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the Missile Toe!

Judge Ralph presiding!

But grandpa still got his presents.

He really needs to keep those reindeer on a leash.

There is actually a cartoon movie where some kid’s grandmother got run over by a reindeer, and some selfish Karen tried to sue Santa.

Is that SANTA’S teeth in the glass?

Awww nuts! Ralph is the judge! Santa’s gonna be workin’ at Amazon after this!

Santa may have been tippin’ back Grampa’s old “cough medicine” while driving his sleigh!

After that notorious encounter, the hunt for a warning light for the sleigh rig really amped up!

If he came right down Santa Claus Lane, why didn’t grandma see him coming? Why didn’t she hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle?

Didn’t you previously testify that she’d been drinking too much eggnog that night? And that you had begged her not to go? You told the police that when she left she staggered out the door into the snow. And didn’t you tell them that you actually didn’t find her until Christmas morning? So you did not actually witness this alleged incident.

And then Grandma got up, thoroughly ticked off, and now our freezer is full of venison.

Santa himself was naughty…

why was she in his lane

Fell off my dinosaur the first time i heard this one.

LMAO!

Ralph will hand down the results of the jury’s decision…and slam down the gavel!

Doesn’t look good for the driver of that sleigh!

Santa upgraded to flying reindeer quite a while ago. Was Grandma flying?

(Yes, I do know about the dumb, novelty song.)

If he’s not convicted, there could still be a civil Santa suit.

Everyone was singing Here Comes Santa Claus, why the hell didn’t she move out of the way?

I guess trampled by a reindeer just doesn’t have the same ring to it as “run over.”

OK, I’ve got to share this, and the only reason I am is that everything turned out OK. Watching a veterinary show the other night. The vet was treating a broken antler on a reindeer. The deer was lying down, his head being held by two assistants, one of whom I named Dennis absent any knowledge of his actual name. Well, at one point the deer decided he had enough, lurched to his feet and yup, you guessed it, “Dennis got run over by a reindeer, working with the doc the other day. You can say there’s no such thing as karma, but as for me and Dennis, we believe.” Whew. Thank you for letting me getting that out. (I repeat, the assistant was fine! The reindeer, too.)

Why didn’t Grandma stop when she saw Rudolph’s red nose.

I bet she didn’t join in any of the reindeer games!