Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for March 14, 2021

They will need to bring in a hazmat team.

Drop a tablespoon of penicillin in the soup before you dump it.

It’s exactly one year since I last was in a grocery store. I’ve been getting my son to do it.

They’re possibly Assistant Manager now.

I left the dregs of my latte in a closed thermos travel cup. I spend a lot of time wondering if I’ll be able to use it again, or if I should just assume it’s dead and buy a new one.

I know how they’re doing. Bring disposable gloves, a clothespin for your nose, and long-handled grabbers when you return.

um, oh dear…

It grew and took over the office, bring a flame thrower!!

They probably have grandchildren by now.

“It’s alive!!”

I wonder if that was what the explosion in the office was all about.

I just shut mine down and moved it to my home office. Increased net profits by 40%!

No worries – the night watchman ate it long ago.

Dougas Adams used a story arc that was a “war” between Dirk Gently and his housekeeper over cleaning the refrigerator, which had gone to hazardous material disposal level of unclean. Dirk went so far as to put a hair across the door to see if she had opened it, before he would risk it. He was delighted to see the hair was gone. However, he was suspicious enough to look closely. Slightly lower down the door, he found another hair, exactly the shade of his housekeeper’s hair.

The office, if not the whole building is a now biohazard zone.