Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 18, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac. by richard thompson our oscar predictions before the show even starts you'll lose track of which is which, naomi watts, kate hudson or diane lane. or chloe sevigny? at 8:19 hard-working homunculus tom cruise will get his arm stuck in his seat's cup holder. everyone will pretend not to notice. at 9:31, kiwi king peter jackson will suffer a wardrobe malfunction when his cummerbund snaps, travels 45 feet & wraps around jack valenti's head. zing at 9:56, there will be a lull. at 10:37, plucky peewee tom cruise will finally extricate himself by chewing off his arm. you'll doze off at 11:20. your dreams will be in technicolor panavision with a cast of thousands & a compelling story arc. and when you wake up you won't remember a bit of it.