Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 27, 2017

Transcript:

if, however, you find lizards creepy, try this instead - lie in a dark room. now picture a tranquil scene, a meadow, say. all is serene. a sun-dappled brook murmurs peacefully, and a soothing breeze lightly stirs your hair. then boom - this guy jumps out from behind a tree, he's playing a kazoo & he's - he's juggling! he's juggling chainsaws & chihuahuas! no! no! it's horrible! fur is flying everywhere! abort! abort! man: agh when all else fails there's always the old standby - have your head cryogenically pre-served until the hangover passes & you're back to your old self again. and best of all, afterwards they give you ice cream! wife: feeling better? husband: mm-hm.