Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 03, 2018

Transcript:

civil war equine statue code explained everyone knows that the many statues of civil war generals around d.c. are subtly encoded to indicate the fate of the subject. herewith a brief guide. sword drawn, horse rearing - died in battle with full attendant glory. henry moore-ish abstraction - fragged by cannon-ball. mounted on moose - went awol to canada. mounted on comfy chair - retired from military to consult for lucrative muni-tions industry. general allan janus gen. allan janus gen. ulysses s. grant dismounted in drunken stupor - retired from military to become 18th president. gen brian gen brian hidden in barrel - found army life uncongenial. quit to become a rodeo clown.