Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 28, 2018

Transcript:

richard's poor almanack voting by richard thompson when you arrive at your polling place a voter traffic coordinator will direct you to the appropriate line. you are advised to bring enough food and water to sustain life for 24-36 hours, a gps, 3 forms of id and comfy shoes. e-h i-l when you are finally cleared to approach the voting booth, please do not bolt for the machine. advance in a dignified manner befitting the grandeur of the occasion. oop: sir! no running! ha ha! ha ha! once in the voting booth do not linger overlong. if you get stuck or feel panicky, press the "help" button. a voter hostess will respond to answer questions, provide oxygen, offer moral support, etc. voter hostes man: ha ha! voting! ha ha! ooh - feel woozy faint- when you have finished voting, please exit quietly. and be sure to stop by our thank you table for a hug from our voting princess*, a goody bag and an "i voted" sticker. *availability may vary by precinct.