Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for November 20, 2019
November 19, 2019
November 21, 2019
Transcript:
distracted driver forecast please be advised of the following inattentive drivers during your commute tomorrow morning. note: cell phone users, being too numerous, are not listed. fooling with the seat adjustments in hopes of bettering car's feng shui. been picking his nose for the last three miles. harried by pack of feral cooper minis npr listener driven to tears by laters sensitive reportage. sees his dog tailgating him on a segway. antsy ferret loose somewhere in car. spots arch-fiend the joker in hov lane. must reach utility belt. sudden insight into nature of matter & cosmos. oop-it's gone. hey, you try to drive while eating steamed crabs.
Jesy Bertz Premium Member almost 5 years ago
Plus, it is going to rain in L.A. tomorrow for the first time since last Winter. Angelenos do not know how to drive in the rain!
J Quest almost 5 years ago
Hopefully Batman has Robin in the passenger seat before entering the HOV lane…
PoodleGroomer almost 5 years ago
Adjustable steering wheel stuck in a position making it impossible to drive and operate the pedals at the same time.
WCraft Premium Member almost 5 years ago
This is hilarious! But since it is a few years old, I’ll say that all those listed have been made extinct by the invasive cell phone texters who’ve inadvertently run the others off the roads…
DCBakerEsq almost 5 years ago
I used to have an Auntie Ferret, but she wasn’t very antsy.
ellisaana Premium Member almost 5 years ago
The antsy ferret reminds me of something that really happened to my sister. She and a co-worker were ferrying small animals across town (DC) for a US Park Service presentation at a local community center, when one of the snakes got loose. They pulled over. The co-worker, a guy, made my sister capture the snake.
ellisaana Premium Member almost 5 years ago
And who hasn’t been harried by feral mini coopers on the DC beltway? If not them, something else.
Kip W almost 5 years ago
I was listening to NPR on the way home some years ago, and the announcer was talking about Don McNeill when I tuned in. Don McNeill! I hadn’t heard his voice in years, and here was a featurette on him. They played clips from the show, including the ‘silent prayer’ part that he put near the end of each show. “Now is the time we pray; each in his own words, each in his own way. Pray for a world united in peace.”
Then the NPR announcer finished the piece by repeating what he’d presumably said at the start of it: that Don McNeill had died that day. Yes, I had to fight tears as I drove home. Yes, I should have expected it. And yes, I’m still sad.
Sisyphos almost 5 years ago
Hey! My Mini Cooper is NOT feral. In fact, it’s really quite tame and unassuming (except for the racing stripes)….