Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 04, 2019
December 03, 2019
December 05, 2019
Transcript:
holiday greetings from the cratchits! well, it's been a busy year here at chez cratchit! grandpa bob finally retired from his position as clerk at scroogex after 156 years of service! we all got misty-eyed at his retirement party when bob spoke of his late mentor & boss, scroogex co-founder ebenezer "big ben" scrooge, bob has watched scroogex grow from a small london-based counting firm to a multinational concern dealing in coal, athletic wear, weapons systems & fresh lobsters, not to mention a vast internet pre-sence! now bob is finding time to improve his golf game, and to drive his wife crazy puttering around the house! and whataya know - all the cratchit kids now work for scroogex! martha & peter both work in the fresh lobster division. belinda, a v.p. for marketing, had her hands full this year with the big to-do over those crippled filipino orphans employed by scroogex sportshoes. (whoops!) and our youngest, tim (don't call him tiny!), has shot to the top at scroogex as head of their hugely successful on-line service, scroonet.com. you can bet ol' tim's pulling down the big ones! so this x-mas the whole cratchit clan (grandkids amber, joey, jake, jennifer, little ben & critter included!) will gather at chez cratchit for christmas goose, reflect on our blessings and say - god bless us, every one! the whole crew! bob tees off! tim at work!
katzenbooks45 almost 5 years ago
That spinning sound you hear is Dickens in his grave. :-)
aerilim almost 5 years ago
Scroonet later became Amazon….
grocks almost 5 years ago
“Scroonet” – brilliant
PoodleGroomer almost 5 years ago
I am aging out of ScroogeMed into a MediScrooge Advantage plan.
DCBakerEsq almost 5 years ago
I love a happy ending. But, I do really hate holiday newsletters.
WCraft Premium Member almost 5 years ago
Looks like Tim really enjoyed his Christmas puddings!
Ratbrat almost 5 years ago
One year, after one too many “Our glorious marvelous life with our stupendously successful children, our mansion, yacht, and fleet of cars, big-ass trucks and SUV’s” , I wrote a parody/satire letter and sent it out, figuring that everyone who knew me well would get it. They didn’t. Only two or three realized when I talked about jetting off to Moscow to facilitate talks between Yelsin and the Prez of the time – that I was having them on. They wondered why wehadn’t told everyone when our kids became a brain surgeon and a rocket scientist respectively. Everybody else either was offended, or believed it and thought we wouldn’t be bothered anymore with simple folk like them, or ignored it.I hastily wrote a bunch of postcards with “You did realize I was joking, right?”. There endethed my illustrious career of writing ghastly letters for people.
Sisyphos almost 5 years ago
Cratchit Extrapolation. Works for me. The Scroogex Empire is on a par with Alphabet, Microsoft, and other companies too big for any one nation!