Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 19, 2019
December 18, 2019
December 20, 2019
Transcript:
horoscope capricorn your tin can habit is get-ting way out of hand aquarius check the kitchen drawer. your coupons have expired. pisces today they will remove your little castle. tomorrow...? aries i'm sorry, we have no horoscope listings under "aries" at this time. taurus you burn oil and pull to the left. gemini you are confident your court appearance will vindicate you & allow you to put these ab-surd allegations behind you. cancer shellfish is very high in cholesterol. beware leo time to thin the herd. virgo you're 39. lose the cats & the sci-fi fandom & get a date. libra you amass enough gravity to attract small satellites. scorpio your plans for global dom-ination fail when all your toadies strike, demanding nicer jumpsuits. sagittarius the "mr. ed" them song sticks in your head all day, starting right now.
J Quest almost 5 years ago
That last one is pure evil (of course, of course…♫♪♪)
DCBakerEsq almost 5 years ago
I’m Sagittarius, Wilbur.
fritzoid Premium Member almost 5 years ago
Dear Mr. Thompson,
My sun and moon are both in Capricorn, but I have Virgo rising. Is my tin can habit what’s keeping me from getting a date?
Kip W almost 5 years ago
There’s a Golden LP called “Mr. Ed: Straight From The Horse’s Mouth” that has to be heard to be believed. It’s full of dopey factoids (many of which are no longer true, and others of which were never true) and weak jests, and “Ed” is just some guy with a deep voice and none of Ed’s mannerisms. There’s also a chorus that puts boring facts to tunes from “The Mikado.” It was the gooniest thing I’d heard right up until I found “Unkie Dunkie the Baloney Slicer” at WFMU’s Beware of the Blog.
Sisyphos almost 5 years ago
I am (or at least used to be; I think they’ve tinkered with the dates of the signs) a Cancer. I don’t much care for shellfish anyway, thanks.