Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 15, 2020

Transcript:

the winners these comic strips received the most votes from our readers. they will be featured every day in the comics section of your newspaper. pre-classic peanuts girl: today no one remembers, but it was originally i, violet, who yanked the football away as charlie brown ran to kick it. girl: yet somehow over the years lucy, the fuss-budget, the drama queen, usurpped my place, leaving me a footnote, a cipher in a billion dollar franchise. boy: what a neurotic embittered little girl. girl: i should have been a star! doltish duck duck: hey - do goats really eat tin cans? goat: no. duck: hey - do chickens really stare at the sky during a rainstorm with their beaks open until they drown? chicken: no. goat: what a dolt. oop: hey - are rhino horns really an aphrodisiac - ow that hurt fanky malloon the clown genius fanky: now i take the ballons and - skwik skwik fanky: voila! i call it "pieta"! kids: ooh! kids: now do "the disasters of war" fanky: sure!