Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 21, 2020
March 20, 2020
March 22, 2020
Transcript:
halloween spooktacular 3 short tales of terror man: eeek house of creeping cottonballs a kindergartner brings home an innocent-seem-ing class project that comes to life, expand-ing uncontrollably until the whole house is a heaving mass of cottonballs, glitter & glue! woman: eeeek cat: please, i'm trying to read. string the uncanny nap this lady wake sup from a brief nap to find herself in a parallel universe where cats control all the media! garfield is twice as ubiquitous & advertising is done with dangly pieces of string! man 2: eek lower level you are here hell cinnabon parking lot mall of the damned a guy goes to the mall to take ad-vantage of a sale on men's pants. but he gets lost & wanders for days! then he finds a map that says he's in hell! and all the pants on sale are relaxed fit wide-wale corduroy in "sphagnum green"!
HappyDog/ᵀʳʸ ᴮᵒᶻᵒ ⁴ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘⁿ ᵒᶠ ᶦᵗ Premium Member over 4 years ago
One wonders, would twice as ubiquitous be uberquitous?
PoodleGroomer over 4 years ago
The pants are women’s random number size denim and too small.
J Quest over 4 years ago
I don’t recall “cinnabon” in Dante’s Inferno…
DCBakerEsq over 4 years ago
THE HOUSE OF QUARANTINE
A mysterious virus sweeps the country, forcing the closure of schools, shopping malls, and comic book stores [SHUDDER], and families everywhere are forced to shelter in place, binge watching mediocre Netflix shows, playing dusty board games, and fighting over the crumbs in the Cheerios box.
Sisyphos over 4 years ago
Well, that makes my Halloween(-in-waiting)!