Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for December 01, 2018

Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest. Yo-ho-ho and a cup of tea. Mmmm… not quite a good ring to it, is it?

But younger than dirt?

Captain Henry Morgan preferred rum.

Tea is great!

So now you know. If anyone ever asks “What was the best thing before sliced bread? You can confidently say, Betty White.”

Many of us will never know what life was like before sliced bread.

Notice the resemblance between him and Captain Sparrow as played by Johnny Depp.

She’s also older than former President George H. W. Bush. RIP.

Just goes to show you that Rice does go with everything ;-)

She sure has turned into a dirty old lady, though.

Why single out Betty White?

She’s 96…. born in 1922..

Carol Channing is the same age…

But Kirk Douglas, unless I missed some sad news, will be 102 in a few days…. and Olivia de Havilland is already 102.

 

In fact, it looks like anybody born before 1928 is older than sliced bread…. and yes, that means PRE-sliced ….

including Cicely Tyson and Dick Van Dyke, who like Ms. White, is still working.

 

And for you whippersnappers who can’t remember life before sliced bread…. you must be pretty darn young.

You can still buy unsliced bread in any supermarket… especially French loaves and other variety breads.

When I was a kid you had a choice between sliced and unsliced loaves of regular, wrapped sandwich bread, too.

The Dread Pirate Roberts?

Mmmm… sticky rice on sliced bread with rum. ~ Homer Simpson

Ill have a Betty White sandwich with a side of Great wall and Soy sauce.

Though factual, perhaps, the Betty White one just sounds like an insult. Haha.

I’m sure Betty White loves that fact and that Ripley’s publicized it :)

What was the “Greatest Thing” before there was sliced bread?

Black Bart’s not so black after all! ;o]

Little known fact; in Pisa, Italy, they often use mozzarella for mortar; it’s not as good as rice evidently.

China once declared war on Mongolia for insulting their mortar…

Thanks, folks; I’ll be here all week…

Tea spiked with Rum most likely.

Is Betty White made with sticky rice, too?

Just goes to show you how sticky, starchy foods can gum up your insides. Better to eat brown rice.

That’s why Bart was able to sail in a straight line…He was a close friend of Captain Hook who sadly passed away after he wiped with the wrong hand…

Thanks for all the giggles, folks!

“But why is the tea gone?!”

So, William Goldman was right, there was a Dread Pirate Roberts… ;-)

So, what was the greatest thing before Betty White?