Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for November 25, 2021

This is dedicated to all the drummers still out there – and if you think that’s a musical reference…you’re YOUNG, as the once-ubiquitous traveling salesman is mostly a thing of the past…as are most Traveling Salesman jokes. Anyway, away we go:

So a traveling salesman arrives at a farmhouse late at night, lacking lodging. The farmer says, “You can stay the night here, but you’ll have to bunk with my son.”

To which the salesman replies, “Oh, no – I’m in the wrong joke!”

Nine tailfeathers burning…and a turkey in an olive tree!

Um… and the settlers called the indigenous uncivilised when it went comes to eating.

How on Earth did they come up with the theory that there were no forks?

This is an oldie but a goodie, at least I hope so. Old for sure.

A boy is invited to Thanksgiving dinner at his girlfriend’s parent’s house so that they can meet him. They’ve been together a while but haven’t had sex yet.

His girlfriend tells him that after he meets her parents they can “get intimate”. So in preparation, he decides to get some condoms at the local drugstore.

As this will be his first time, he doesn’t know anything about condoms and so he asks the pharmacist what he should buy.

The pharmacist explains all about the differences between the brands and after a long chat the boy decides on a large box of “ribbed for her pleasure”.

The time comes for the Thanksgiving dinner and the young couple are seated at the dinner table with the girl’s parents.

The girl is surprised to see the boy has his head bowed down apparently deep in prayer.

She whispers to him, “I didn’t know you were so religious!”.

He whispers back, “I didn’t know your father was a pharmacist.”.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Until next time.

I like how the Native American looks appropriately suspicious of that pilgrim.

“Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

But turkeys?

Hanukkah overlaps with Thanksgiving this year, too. It begins this Sunday.

There were also likely no drones at the first Thanksgiving. There were likely not a lot of things. Pokemon. ’57 Chevys. Ball point pens. Microwaves. K Pop bands. Air raid sirens.

Take care, may grinning time traveler Spleep “Xjafrrmloppiz” Gurplord be with you, and gesundheit.

At Teddy Roosevelts house on Sagamore Hill there used to be Wild Turkeys that would chase people around

I enjoy reading the jokes on here and wanted to say thanks. I don’t do social media and just have time in the morning to read a few comics and make some comments I think might be funny.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. It is the most sincere holiday.

The ancestor of Calvin attended as a child and loved the heck out of eating mashed potatoes and creamed corn with his hands. Hobbs ate a pilgrim. Believe It or Not! Happy Thanksgiving and may God Bless you all. And God Bless America. Believe It!

Didn’t they have sporks, either?

Native Americans are not usually shown with facial hair

One of ex bro-in-law’s prized possessions was a menorah made of nails from a concentration camp. Quite frankly, it made me a little queasy just being around the thing because of its materials. And I’m not even Jewish. However, I did rationalize that it was probably made in China out of nails from a pig sty and felt better about the whole thing. Believe It or Not!

Asher Weintraub was also an obnoxious little twit and held the record at Yavneh Day School, Rocky River, Ohio, and held the school record for wedgies and swirlies.

I want to wish all of the RBIION’s readers “Happy Thanksgiving”!! I sometimes make comments that upset some of you and would like to apologize if I do. I’ve always said I have that famous disease “FOOT IN MOUTH”!

I might dispute that fork fact. Two tine forks have been unearthed at Williamsburg and Jamestown. (However, the first Thanksgiving was at Plymouth, wasn’t it?)

At last an answer to the burning question of whether forks were used at the first Thanksgiving! Now my life is complete! ;o}Happy Thanksgiving to all of my RBION friends!

I heard of buzzards invading Hinckley, Ohio every year, but the wild turkeys in Rocky River is a new one on me.

In college, I once decided not to go to the infirmary because of a large bird sitting in front of the door. In retrospect, it was probably a wild turkey.

“Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night… doesn’t say anything about a buncha turkeys!”

By a show of messy hands!

So, did they eat with spoons or did they not have any of those?

Neither rain nor sleet no snow…….But keep those turkeys away from us for god’s sake