Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for December 05, 2022

Well, in a way humans can drink from both ends. Rectal hydration has been used to re-hydrate people that are severely dehydrated and are unconsciousness or for other reasons can’t drink water orally.

That’s so yucky about wood lice. Cue the Uranus jokes yet again! Sometimes, this comic is Ripley’s Don’t Want to Know it or Not!

A short one for today:- Patrick’s wife had just gone into labour so he called the local Dublin hospital and spoke to the intern on duty, “Quick! send an ambulance, me wife’s just gone into labour”. "Is this her first baby?, the intern asked. “No, this is her husband, Patrick, speakin”. Groan if ye like, Birdman, out.

Doctor’s orders: “Take two suppositories, drink plenty of liquids & call me in the morning.”

Watercolors just took on a whole new meaning.

Yep. Building things up then blowing them up, it’s the cycle of life. We learn this at early age from Teacher and blackboard. ~ Emperor Bao Dong Hu Yu, failed every class but revered by so many other failures and now I am quoted so there and here you are reading it ha ha haha ha.

Take care, may motel bedroom painting artist Ronnie “The Pawn Shops Take The Elvis On Black Velveteen Stuff But Motel 6 Buys My Landscapes Because I Also Supply The Hook On The Correct End Of The Frame Which Stopped Them From Hanging Most Of Them Upside Down” Waterthorne be with you, and gesundheit.

And in 2020, China demolished large swaths of the earth’s population with one virus.

I’ll bet it makes it easy for Cristini to wash his brushes between colors.

What color is wet???

Alberto: Why?

I got a letter from a friend who’s having trouble keeping a job. He described his efforts to me as follows.

“I got a job at a company that makes fire hydrants, but I had to give it up. There was no place to park.

“Then I went to work for a company that prints calendars. But I knew from the start that my days were numbered.

“So I went to work for a moving company. They told me to vacate the premises, so I left.

“After that I went to work for a demolition company. I got fired for breaking the cardinal rule of demolitions: Make sure you get the address right.

“So I tried acting. I auditioned for the role of Hamlet, but it was not to be.

“Finally, I got a job as a department store Santa, but they caught me drinking on the job, so they gave me the ol’ heave ho ho ho.”

Any other job ideas for him to try?

A new strain of head lice has been discovered which is resistant to conventional treatments.

That has left scientists scratching their heads.

This involves painting, and . . . Well, see for yourself.

An owner of a painting company needs to hire a painter for a job he is doing, so he goes down to the unemployment department to hire a painter. They tell him they don’t have any – the only person they have at the moment is a gynecologist.

He says that won’t do, he needs a painter.

They tell him they are sorry. He really needs an extra set of hands so he decides to take the gynecologist.

Two weeks later he returns asking for the gynecologist. They tell him that he has found employment and is no longer with them and that they now have painters looking for work.

The owner of the painting company tells them that he really needs the gynecologist. They ask him why?

He tells them that two weeks earlier he took the gynecologist down to the job site and the front door was locked, and they had no key. That guy painted the entire house through the keyhole!

Until next time.

One for today:- When Mick started a new job on a London building site he was put on half wages because the boss reckoned he was just a “dumb Paddy”..After a couple of months Mick walks into his bosses office and demands a raise in wages.. “What makes you think you’re worth more money now?” His boss inquired..“I’m smarter than you think boss, I just finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” beamed Mick..“How long did it take you?” asked the foreman.“Well, the box said “3 to 5 Years” but I did it in 3 weeks.".Birdman. Out.

Are those call water color paintings?

real handy for cleaning brushes