Rubes by Leigh Rubin for June 05, 2023

Timmy’s cruel side.

Have you ever played “fetch” with a dog and faked him about where you threw the ball? Even dumb dogs don’t fall for it more than two or three times in a day. Even faster on subsequent days.

It’s almost always a bad idea to lie, even to dogs.

“Nope you little goof, I’m done savin’ your skinny butt from the same well, mine and bear attacks. You’re on your own.”

Alternatively, If you want someone dumb enough to fall for that, you want Skippy the wild kangaroo. Just look it up.

I remember an old Simpsons episode where Bart pretends to have fallen down a well. After people realize that they’ve been had, and turn away in disgust, he falls down there for real.

I recall the far side where the dogs runs to look for help then realizes her name is not Lassie

ok Timmy. you wait there. hehehehe

Cruel.

And the myth of Timmy’s well fall continues thanks to an SNL skit.

Who builds a well high on a hill? Water seeks lowest level; you just end up digging further. Your workers will complain

Jeff Dunham as a child.

Even more cruel: “I’m down here swimming and it isn’t that deep…”

During the entire run of Lassie, Timmy never fell into a well. He did manage to fall into other life threatening situations including two lakes, a gap between two railroad cars, two abandoned mines, quicksand and a badger hole. Without a doubt, that kid spent a lot of time falling into things but somehow avoided abandoned wells.

I saw a cartoon once with Lassie in a bail bonds office. The bondsman is saying, “What’s that Lassie? You say Timmy’s in trouble again?”

Well, well, well…we’re gonna need another Timmy!

That’s cruel, what if Lassie heard wolf cry once too often, then what…

Collie Gee Well-ickers, Lassie’s been hoodwinked.

just to clear things up, Timmy never fell down a well on the Lassie tv program