Savage Chickens by Doug Savage for March 01, 2023

And yet, you are still sitting in your chair with your book and not going to check.

if you over-bake your pizza

Kid looks so happy.

Actually, I just finished watching the Mythbusters episode where they liquefy gummi bears, turn the sugar into a fine powder, and use that for making solid fuel rocket engines. Pineapples have lots of sugar in the juice. They should be able to burn.

Uh oh. Either the chick has just seen a Sponge Bob episode, or he’s going to make an experiment suggestion to “Crazy Russian Hacker” on YouTube.

Sniff, sniff….Do I smell burning Pineapple? Odd.

If the bonfire is hot enough, you can pretty much burn anything!

What’s this kid up to and why a pineapple?

Hollers after his kid: Make sure you wear safety goggles!

With the right oxidizer, you can burn anything! The pineapple’s water content will be the biggest challenge. Forget that wimpy lighter fluid. Get some chlorine trifluoride. That’ll oxidize anything and you won’t even need a match! It will ignite on contact! You will need a scuba tank and hazmat suit, though, because of the extremely toxic and corrosive gasses that will be released, and be very careful not to use too much — this will also burn anything you could possibly contain the pineapple in. This will ignite metal, concrete, sand, glass, stone, and even water ice.

There’s a delightful YouTube safety video (in French) showing chlorine trifluoride reacting with common lab personal protective equipment. It’s hypergolic with absolutely all of them, so it would definitely do a fine job of reducing a pineapple to a cinder quite efficiently.

@calliarcale —Duck Duck Go “Things I won’t work with.”

I think the correct way to ignite a pineapple is to peel it, soak it in strong rum, light it and then, after a moment, douse the flame with french vanilla ice cream!

Well, this green, fist sized thing looks kind of like a pineapple. I’ll try it! :)

Does he want to set the hen house on fire…