Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for July 26, 2021

Or…..win the lottery.

They, the missing relatives, might be missing for a reason you know. As in that they might not want to see you.

Become an executor of a will.

Come into some money

I know where all mine are, the nearest is 2000km away.

Start some burgers and they’ll get their buns over there right away.

Buy a pick up truck.

Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.

They will find you. And then you will not be missing them any more.

You may want them to be go missing (or get lost) again.

You might check the phone wires above a statue.

When my parents made their first trip to Ireland in the eighties, they went to visit dad’s Aunt May, hoping to get some information about relatives over there. She talked for 2 hours, which was typical, and told them where family members lived. She ended by saying: “But don’t go to see any of them, all they want is money!”

Move to a warm clime, like Arizona or Florida, settle in a tourist destination area, and buy a house that has a guest room or two!

Or inherit money.

Or stay home and stock the refrigerator with delicious foods!

My brother-in-law lives across the street from the beach AND has a large house. We’re 20 minutes from the beach. Can you guess who gets the most visitors?

Plant money trees.