Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for October 02, 2023

What is your username and password?…..

Nope, you have to play that awful music that makes you want to fall asleep!

I have to say…..the only place I call that this doesn’t happen is Chewy.com, where I buy my pet supplies. If I need to call them, a live person answers and is very helpful 24/7/365. I will always be loyal to them for that kind of service.

At least they’re honest

That’s the new 911.

They figure you will hang up if they stall long enough.

How true. And many never tell you how to reach a real person. Or, after a long wait, it hangs up on you.

Please listen carefully as our menu options have recently changed. They are more intractable and obfuscated.

That’s pretty much the right of it…I loathe those menus. I want to talk to a human and not be told to check the website. I’ve already checked the website…

I’m sick and tired of hearing, YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT TO US, when in fact it’s NOT important enough for anyone to answer the phone, or even interrupt the hold music and canned chatter in a timely manner. It’s plainly insulting.

WHY do I need to “Press 1” for ENGLISH?

This call may be recorded so we can laugh at you for thinking we’d do anything about your issue.

It must be so boring editing Cosmo’s work that Shoe has to mess with the mind of one of his readers. Oh, well, he didn’t need that cirscriber, anyway.

That’s about right.

A-maze-ing.

Truth.

Well look at it this way who really wants to talk somebody who is in a bad mood and is having some sort of problem with the company they are calling. You really don’t want to go out of your way to encourage this kind of thing.

They make it difficult so that you will give up and hang up.

Nor is your call important enough that we’ll hire enough staff to actually take your call.

And God forbid we should waste our precious money hiring and training real people who might actually be helpful.

I hate it when I finally get thru to a human, it’s someone in Cambodia who says his name is “John”. Yeah, right!

Better than the AI Phone Trees they are using…. “Please state the reason for your call…” and you are stuck forever in a time loop.